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Writing Samples
Band 7

People nowadays tend to have children at older ages. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.

#people #children #ages #outweigh
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The question about the perfect
time
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 to have
children
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 is debatable. In recent times, the trend of having
children
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 has increased significantly.
This
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 essay will discuss both the positive and negative outcomes of having
children
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 at older ages,
while
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also
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 explaining why the advantages tend to outweigh any perceived downsides .
To begin
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 with, one of the main benefits is stability and maturity. Many individuals often lack sufficient
time
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 for their
children
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 at a young age
due to
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 career commitments and an unstable income. After having a great career, they can easily afford the best and the
stable
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most stable
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 life for their child.
According to
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 a recent survey at Cambridge University, in developed countries, 80% of respondents plan to have
children
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 after the age of 35 years old.
Furthermore
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, more mature
parents
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 tend to possess financial stability and independence.
This
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 stability can create an environment where
children
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's needs are consistently met, improving their
overall
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 upbringing.
On the other hand
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, it is essential to emphasize potential disadvantages. To commence with, complications during pregnancy can be increased by advanced maternal and paternal age,
such
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 as gestational diabetes, hypertension, and genetic disorders.
In addition
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, older
parents
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 might have concerns about being able to provide for their
children
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 throughout their lives, especially if health issues arise later on.
Also
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, the generation gap between older
parents
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 and their
children
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 might cause communication problems and difficulties in relating to each other’s experiences. In conclusion, despite several downsides,
this
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 trend should be welcomed and encouraged. Older
parents
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 might have more
time
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 to spend with their
children
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, but the quality of that
time
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 might be influenced by physical limitations or generational differences.
Submitted by wsvllnl on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. Make sure to address all parts of the essay question in detail.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is clear, but there is some room for improvement in connecting ideas smoothly between paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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