There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These days,
students
are facing difficulties managing all subjects
simultaneously with academic work. While
removing non-academic subjects
will bring benefits such
as better concentration on academic works
, it will Fix the agreement mistake
work
also
depend on their creativity
.
On one hand, removing non-academic subjects
from the school syllabus will make the study life of pupils far easier. If there are only academic subjects
, there will be more possibilities for them to focus on their studies, which will lead to success. For example
, in some parts of China, the school curriculum of students
is rid of non-academic subjects
. Hence
the educational achievements of students
rated in the top ten of the world. Thus
, setting them free from these kinds of subjects
will benefit their educational status.
On the other hand
, it may cause less creativity
among pupils. These kinds of subjects
are part of a well-rounded education. Non-academic subjects
like art, music, physical education, and vocational courses foster creativity
, physical health, and practical skills. They offer students
opportunities for self-expression, stress relief, and exploration of different interests, which can be just as crucial as academic subjects
for personal growth and development. For instance
, music learning how to olay
an instrument Correct your spelling
play
reduce
stressCorrect subject-verb agreement
reduces
enhance
memory and Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
boost
Correct subject-verb agreement
boosts
creativity
. Therefore
, having
in Unnecessary verb
apply
school
curriculum, these kinds of Add an article
the school
subjects
also
play an important role.
In conclusion, although
removing non-academic subjects
from the schedule of students
will increase their concentration on academic work, pupils could be heavily attached only to those subjects
and lose opportunities for self-expression and exploration.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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Task Achievement
Try to offer more specific examples to support your arguments; it enhances the clarity and impact of your points.
Task Achievement
Maintain a balance between academic and non-academic subjects in your arguments to present a more nuanced view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking phrases to improve flow between ideas and paragraphs; this will strengthen coherence throughout your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to varying sentence structures to improve readability and engage your reader more effectively.
Task Achievement
Successfully addressed both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion which effectively framed your discussion.
Task Achievement
Good use of examples to illustrate arguments, enhancing the essay's persuasive power.
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