There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is a view that schools should cancel non-academic programs of studies,

such

Linking Words

as cookery and physical education, to be more focused on academic work.

While

Linking Words

some say that concentrating on strict

subjects

Use synonyms

has benefits for their future career, I believe that without entertaining work there wouldn’t develop personal creativity. On the one hand, putting away non-academic work has some advantages,

such

Linking Words

as saving energy for focusing on academic tasks.

For example

Linking Words

,most of the

students

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

Harvard University are from Chinese county, where the main

subjects

Use synonyms

are academics.

Thus

Linking Words

, by decreasing attention to free

subjects

Use synonyms

they can achieve more percentage of success in entering university.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, if these

subjects

Use synonyms

are removed from schools, it can lead to a lack of creativity among

students

Use synonyms

Linking Words

This kind

Fix the agreement mistake

These kinds

show examples

subjects

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as physical activities, art, mental education or cookery are necessary for self-expression, and stress relief and they help

students

Use synonyms

explore different features of their personalities.

For example

Linking Words

, by making something they forget about thoughts in their mind, and they can relieve their stress.

Therefore

Linking Words

lessons that require a physical approach have benefits in individuals' lives. In conclusion, removing non-academic

subjects

Use synonyms

from the school curriculum will help

students

Use synonyms

to save their energy during their studying period,

however

Linking Words

, if it happens actually it has

such

Linking Words

kind of drawbacks as a deficiency in creativity. My personal opinion is that it is better to have all of these non-academic

subjects

Use synonyms

in the school syllabus, as they will help

students

Use synonyms

boost their activity skills.

makemoneyizzy16Tue May 07 2024

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task achievement

Consider clearly stating your position in the introduction to make it more evident whether you completely agree, disagree, or have a nuanced opinion.

coherence cohesion

Ensure varied sentence structures and cohesive devices to improve the flow of your ideas.

task achievement

Provide clearer examples that link back to your main points more directly, rather than general statements. For instance, elaborating on how creativity impacts future careers could strengthen your argument.

content

Your essay presents a balanced view on the topic, acknowledging both sides of the argument, which is commendable.

coherence cohesion

The structure of your essay allows for a clear separation of ideas, making it easier for the reader to follow your logic.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

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In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people dislike changes in their society and in their own lives, and want things to stay the same. Why do some people want things to stay the same? Why should change be regarded as something positive?

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can ben taken to bring about a change. Discuss both and give your opinion.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their major subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to their main subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.