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Writing Samples
Band 7

The maps below show the changes in the art gallery ground floor in 2005 and the present day. Summarize the information by selecting the main features, and make comparisons.

The maps below show the changes in the art gallery ground floor in 2005 and the present day. Summarize the information by selecting the main features, and make comparisons.
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The maps describe how the first floor of the art
gallery
Use synonyms
 has changed since 2005. In 2005, the
gallery
Use synonyms
 had 4
exhibition
Use synonyms
 rooms in total, 3 of which lined up on the east side,
while
Linking Words
 the other was to the left of the
entrance
Use synonyms
. Directly facing the
entrance
Use synonyms
 was a round reception counter, immediately before the stairs in the north wing. A café could be in the northwest corner, with a
gallery
Use synonyms
 office to its south.
Overall
Linking Words
, the art
gallery
Use synonyms
 has been made more convenient with the addition of new facilities
such
Linking Words
 as a children’s area and a
gallery
Use synonyms
 shop, albeit at the expense of some old features. Of particular note is the construction of a ramp for wheelchairs and a lift, which has made the
gallery
Use synonyms
 more accessible to the disabled. The
gallery
Use synonyms
's ground floor has seen some major changes over the years.
Although
Linking Words
 the
exhibition
Use synonyms
 rooms along the east side remain intact, the fourth
exhibition
Use synonyms
 room has been repurposed into a temporary
exhibition
Use synonyms
 and a children’s area. The reception counter has been relocated to the centre, and it now faces the newly-built
entrance
Use synonyms
 hall by the
entrance
Use synonyms
. The café and
gallery
Use synonyms
 office have
also
Linking Words
 been converted into a
gallery
Use synonyms
 shop and an area for a vending machine.
Finally
Linking Words
, accessibility of the
gallery
Use synonyms
 has greatly improved with the addition of a lift by the stairs and a ramp for wheelchairs to the left of the
entrance
Use synonyms
.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words gallery, exhibition, entrance with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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