Some people think adults should give children freedom to make mistakes. Others think adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #adults #children #freedom #mistakes

There has been a constant debate about whether guardians should let their

youngsters

make

mistakes

freely or whether adults should prevent them from doing so. In

this

essay, I will elaborate on both views and give my own opinion on

this

matter. On the one hand, some people say that caregivers should let their offspring make

mistakes

. It is true that making

mistakes

enables

kids

to learn and develop, since errors help the young identify and understand their weaknesses,

thus

putting effort into developing them.

For instance

, a study published in the Journal of Experimental Child Psychology found that

youngsters

who made

mistakes

during learning tasks and were given feedback showed better retention and understanding of the material than those who did not make

mistakes

or were not given feedback.

Moreover

, the acceptance and normalization of

mistakes

can help

kids

become more confident.

For example

, a study on youth development proved that

youngsters

who reflect on their

mistakes

grow up to be more assertive, which is an important characteristic for them. Meanwhile, some people believe that

youngsters

should be educated to avoid

mistakes

. It is obvious that

this

helps adolescents prevent certain risks and challenges. Research published in the journal Child Development shows that adolescents who receive proactive guidance from their guardians are less likely to engage in risky

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

such

as drug use, delinquency, and premature sexual activity.

This

highlights the importance of adult involvement in helping their offspring avoid these types of

mistakes

. In conclusion,

while

both points of view have their benefits, I strongly argue that guardians should give their

kids

the freedom to make

mistakes

, as it offers them the opportunity to learn, grow, and develop properly. By allowing

youngsters

to make

mistakes

, adults help them build essential life skills

such

as resilience, problem-solving, and confidence.

Although

preventing certain

mistakes

can protect

kids

from immediate harm, it is through their own experiences and failures that they truly learn and mature.

This

version uses a variety of synonyms to address the lexical resource issues and enhances the

overall

quality of the essay.

Submitted by minhlieu.hnd on Sun Aug 04 2024

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coherence

Strengthen the transitions between paragraphs. For instance, the transition between the advantages of making mistakes and preventative measures can be made smoother.

task response

Slightly improve explanations for both views, by providing more detailed examples and potential consequences.

coherence

Fine-tune the conclusion to more forcefully synthesize both arguments and reinforce your opinion.

coherence

The introduction clearly outlines both perspectives and sets up the essay effectively.

task response

The essay uses relevant and specific examples to illustrate points, such as studies published in journals.

coherence

Each paragraph flows logically, with a clear focus and supported points.

task response

The conclusion effectively recaps the discussed points and clearly states the writer's opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

345 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think adults should give children freedom to make mistakes. Others think adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Using a computer everyday can have more negative than positive effects on your children . Do you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some believe that all individuals who break the law should be placed in prison as a form punishment. However, other hold the view that there are more effective alternatives to deal with lawbreakers.

With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered and some are even facing extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What can be done to deal with this problem