Vaccinating children against preventable diseases is not only unnecessary but also dangerous. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #diseases

Some people think that vaccinating children against preventable

diabities

Correct your spelling

diabetes

disabilities

is dangerous

as well as

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it is

also

un_necessary. I am completely against

this

notion. As

vaccination

protects them from death,

in addition

makes

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

them have a healthy

life

. Our children's bodies are weak and need to be strong and healthy, to have the ability to

continoue

Correct your spelling

continue

this

hard

life

Therefore

, by vaccinating them they will be more

adabtable

Correct your spelling

adaptable

this

life

. To illustrate, Doctors

said

Wrong verb form

say

show examples

that when the body takes

small

Correct article usage

a small

show examples

about of

viruis

Correct your spelling

virus

viruses

the white blood cells recognise these

virues

Correct your spelling

viruses

virtues

then

the body will have the ability to get red from a

disese

Correct your spelling

disease

that

come

Correct subject-verb agreement

comes

show examples

from

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

viruis

Correct your spelling

viruses

This

means that vaccinating our newborns is a good idea.

Additionally

newborns

Change noun form

newborns'

newborn's

show examples

bodies can regenerate faster than

adults

Change noun form

adults'

adult's

show examples

. So the benefits of

vaccination

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

increased.

Besides

, these will lead to

increase

Correct article usage

an increase

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

their

life

. They will live longer than before. So that productivity in our world will be increased .

For instance

, in developing there are some places where people

there

Rephrase

apply

show examples

can't

affordable

Replace the word

afford

show examples

for paying

Change preposition

to pay

show examples

the fees of

vaccination

their

Capitalize word

Their

show examples

children

died

Wrong verb form

die

show examples

before turn to 5years

Correct word choice

old.

show examples

Therefore

neglating

Correct your spelling

neglecting

negating

protecting our

new born

Correct your spelling

newborn

show examples

from preventable

dieases

Correct your spelling

diseases

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

really dangerous for the world and their health, productivity and

life

. To explain, developed countries are made a healthy protectable program for their new generations.

Hence

, they

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

live longer,

Correct word choice

and heather

show examples

heather

Correct your spelling

healthier

show examples

than others. In conclusion, I agree with the importance of

vaccination

Change preposition

for

show examples

our new generation. As it gives them a healthy

life

and

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

productive one,

as well as

, makes them live a longer

life

without being afraid of the mastery of death

Submitted by someysamanoudi on Sat Aug 26 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
It is said that many people are advising children to try their best in order to gain something. I believe that this idea brings various beneficial impacts towards the children, however, several drawbacks also could happen.
6
band
Some people believe that zoos where animals are kept in a man-made environment should no longer exist in the 21st century. To what extent you agree or disagree?
Many people argue that zoo where creatures are contained in artificial enclosures should be banned in this century. This essay totally agrees with this statement because it is cruel to keep an animal in a confined space and nature programs allow us to view animals without the need for a zoo.
5
band
In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?
In my view, enacting a law to make corporations refuse job seekers because of their age would could be a partial improvement with more benefits and some downsides.
6.5
band
Most people in the world have to work to earn a living. However, many people work only for the financial gain that it involves, and not for any other reward a job can offer. What do you think the main considerations when deciding what job to take should be?
Certainly, the majority of people around the world have to work to make a living. It is heard that most individuals work just for the financial benefits the job is offering them, disregarding their personal preferences and what they would love to do. In my opinion, people should trust more their feelings and apply for a job that they are passionate about; one that they are suitable for and that offers them a sense of meaning.
5
band
Some people believe school children should be given multiple vacations while others think they should get one long vacation. Discuss advantages for both and give your opinion.
The core objective of education is to enhance academic skills of the students and to prepare them to cope up with global competition. It is the widely held belief that students should be given multiple short vacations so that they can adapt new skills by joining co curriculum activities ,but there is strong counter argument amongst other sections of people . However , I am of the opinion that it is a matter to be discussed in the light of several reasons before any conclusion can be drawn.

Vaccinating children against preventable diseases is not only unnecessary but also dangerous. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some people believe that zoos where animals are kept in a man-made environment should no longer exist in the 21st century. To what extent you agree or disagree?

In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

Most people in the world have to work to earn a living. However, many people work only for the financial gain that it involves, and not for any other reward a job can offer. What do you think the main considerations when deciding what job to take should be?

Some people believe school children should be given multiple vacations while others think they should get one long vacation. Discuss advantages for both and give your opinion.