In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With the increased use of computers, the internet, and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?
As the proverb goes: “Every coin has its two sides” and working from home is no exception. Thanks to the development of technology, the number of people working from home increased rapidly in recent years.
Consequently
, the benefits and drawbacks of this
phenomenon will be stated as follows.
On this
side of the coin, it is undeniable that working remotely possibly promotes the quality of our lives. To graphically illustrate, our mental well-being would be enhanced significantly because of several reasons. The first benefit is we should be able to spend less time travelling to workplaces. In other words
, we will have more leisure time which can be consumed for
our loved ones. Change preposition
by
In addition
, without the compulsoriness of going to work via means of transport, we should be capable of avoiding irritating noises on our way to work which is beneficial to our health condition.
On the other side of the coin, there is no denying that home-based working is inconvenient in some specific situations. For instance
, if a given assignment requires to be accomplished immediately, working directly with our colleagues will be more effective than doing so by dint of online platforms. In other words
, in this
circumstance, working from home would consume more time than working face-to-face since we will be able to cooperate with our associates directly.
In conclusion, remote working is a trend that possesses both advantages and disadvantages. Yet, I hold my notion that its profits would outweigh the downsides. Notwithstanding, this
is still a debatable issue that requires wary consideration as well as
discussion.Submitted by namle.ivce on
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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but need improvement. Work on providing a clearer overview of the advantages and disadvantages in the introduction. The conclusion should summarize the main points and provide a final thought on the topic.
task achievement
The essay provides a generally complete response to the task with clear and comprehensive ideas. However, more relevant specific examples could be included to support the points made throughout the essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
