IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people say that E-books and modern technology will totally replace traditional newspaper and magazines to what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #e-books #technology #newspaper #magazines
Reading
books
 has always been a crucial part of one's life in one
way
 or another. Nowadays many things have changed and few people believe that E-
books
 and modern advancements will totally replace the traditional newspaper and magazines. I totally agree with the above statement and I will discuss why it is so in the following paragraphs.
To begin
 with, the younger generation of any country is fully dependent on the modern gadgets which have been handed over to them by their parents or sometimes school authorities so as to make their work easy.
Furthermore
, schools nowadays follow a pattern of teaching students in
way
Add an article
a way
show examples
 that they are told to carry these devices to school
instead
 of their
books
 .
For example
, a science teacher who wants to teach a concept plays a video of the same on YouTube and makes kids listen and understand themselves.
As a result
, children have been taken away from the traditional
way
 of reading and understanding the material with the help of
books
.
In addition
 to
this
, the younger population of almost every nation has built up a habit of reading everything on these digital gadgets. And
thus
 extinguishing many traditional ways
such
 as reading a newspaper or a magazine.
Moreover
, modern advancement has achieved heights and it is slowly and steadily snatching away the value of our culture from the society.
Also
,
this
 technological advancement is not only affecting our culture but is making our generations lazy and lethargic and they do not want to perform any physical activity.
To conclude
, I would say that schools must focus on making children read from
books
instead
 of modern gadgets which are affecting them in numerous ways.
Also
, by doing
this
 practice kids will flourish in a better
way
 than by doing the opposite.
Submitted by resume2012principal on

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task response
The essay addresses the topic but lacks depth and comprehensive analysis. Consider providing a more detailed examination of the issues related to the replacement of traditional media by E-books and modern technology.
coherence cohesion
The structure and organization of the essay are generally clear. However, there is room for improvement in the development of main points and their supporting details. Ensure that each paragraph presents a cohesive and well-developed argument.
lexical resource
While the essay demonstrates a sufficient level of vocabulary and provides some evidence of less common lexical items, there is a need for greater variety and precision in word choice. Consider incorporating a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the overall quality of language use.
grammatical range
The essay displays a mix of sentence structures and demonstrates a satisfactory level of grammatical control. However, there are instances of errors in grammar, punctuation, and sentence construction. Strive for greater accuracy and complexity in sentence structures to elevate the overall language proficiency.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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