IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

The government should spend more money on medical research to protect citizens’ health rather than on protecting the environment. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #research #citizens’ #health #environment
It is argued that politicians ought to invest more in medical facilities to improve residents’ well-being than in environmental conservation. In some cases
this
 is true.
However
, I do believe that it is more crucial to put emphasis on utilizing money on problems related to the climate. I will shed light on my point of view in the following essay. On the one hand, there are numerous critical reasons to provide funding to the healthcare systems. First of all, a fit community will support the economy and other factors.
In addition
, using the money on medical experiences will help mitigate the risk of spreading many types of diseases and treat promptly them. Take COVID-19 as a good example, thanks to billions of dollars invested in researching coronavirus vaccines. We can easily return to a normal life at present. On the other side,
while
 there are numerous advantages to researching medicines, it is more beneficial to invest in tackling issues involved in nature.
Initially
, many kinds of pollution are global issues, which can significantly damage the dwellers’ well-being daily.
For instance
, the greenhouse effect leads to global warming and melting ice
Change preposition
at
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the North Pole.
Additionally
, carbon dioxide emissions from large numbers of vehicles and manufacturers will probably noticeably affect the air quality and water resources.
Moreover
, investing money in protecting ecosystems will support the diversity of natural habitats and
also
 prevent many rare species from extinction. In conclusion, I would say that both issues are equally vital and the key argument is that governments ought to spend the same budget for both problems
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: