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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

#success #wealth #belongings #measure #person
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An individual is often assessed by his income and lifestyle status in society. The greater the bank account balance, the higher the ranking among people in the same community.
This
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 is indeed a bitter truth in general and unfortunately, often the
success
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 of a
person
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 is determined by his wealth.
However
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, In my opinion, there are many parameters and one can not label someone as successful just because of his high earnings. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss and suggest my point of view and other essential factors to support the same.
Firstly
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, regarding wealth as the most important measure of
success
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. It is indeed a crucial factor in today's world, as the purchasing power of a
person
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 and how much one can spend, determine his or her status in society.
For instance
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, someone with a beautiful home and expensive belongings in a safe and well-connected place and with vehicles to drive will be considered more victorious in
life
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 than who is struggling to pay
money
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 for daily chores.
However
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, having said so, there is another side to the story too. The measure of
success
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 in
life
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 has different meanings for different individuals. Fulfilment of an individual dream and happiness brought in
life
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, whether that includes
money
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 or not, I believe is the best measure to determine progress.
Furthermore
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, respect in society and a good healthy
life
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 are other important determinants.
For example
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, if a rich
person
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 is fraudulent and earns
money
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 but
also
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 has a bad reputation or has a lifelong illness, will surely be not measured as successful despite having large bank balances.
To sum up
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, it is certainly true that often prosperity is confused with
success
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 as we see people from that angle.
Nevertheless
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, there are other considerably more important measures than
money
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 to count a
person
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 as a triumphant one.
Submitted by sonyasharma01 on

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task response
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on the points made to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is logically connected to the next to improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to enrich the essay and convey your ideas more precisely.
grammatical range
Use a variety of complex sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures.
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