The increase in People’s life expectancy means that they have to work older to pay for their retirement. One alternative is that people start to work at a young age. Is this alternative a positive or a negative development?
Today people expect more from life and to be able to pay for the retirement they stay in work longer. How to cope with
this
? One of the ways is to start working at a younger age. In this
essay, I am planning to discover the advantages and disadvantages of this
tendency.
On the one side, when a young person starts working and earning his own money he gets more experience and, as a result
, becomes more self-confident. It means he will be aware of the details of his job and it will be easy for him to find a more profitable job. For example
, I started to work when I was sixteen. It was a computer operator job in an office with a salary not as high as I wanted but I can remember a feeling of pride when I bought my first present for my parents with my first money.
On the other side, young people need to have sufficient time to study to get a perspective profession. Most of the students combine learning and working processes but I am convinced that it is rather hard to do. Needless to say, there are lots of examples when students had health issues as a result
of such
kind of an exhausting life. For instance
, when I was a student I did not work but, despite it, I studied hard and often stayed until late cramming the lectures. Compared with me, my roommate worked at the same time, and I cannot even imagine how she was able to manage these two things. I know that then
she acquired ailments.
In conclusion, starting a career at a younger age is attractive for most people but it's needed to keep in mind that earning a living and doing studies simultaneously can bring numerous issues in the future.Submitted by karine.s.kirakosyan on
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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, however, they could be more clearly defined and related to the topic. Ensure that the introduction clearly sets out the issues to be discussed and the conclusion provides a summary of the main points and a final comment.
task achievement
While your response to the task is comprehensive and relevant, attempt to clearly address the prompt in the introduction and provide a stronger conclusion that reinforces your position on whether starting work at a young age is a positive or negative development. Ensure that each paragraph directly relates back to the main topic and addresses the key aspects of the question.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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