Some people say that the bast way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Other, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

An opinion has been raised by some individuals about adding more
sports
facilities as the best way to enhance the health of the public;
however
, there are others who reject
this
notion. They claim that these measures would only have a little impact towards
people
who seek a healthier lifestyle and that there are other ways they could do that without having to invest in
sports
centres. I agree with the latter and in
this
essay, I shall explain why with a couple of examples to support the causes.
To begin
with,
sports
facilities are just an aid when
people
need to bulk up without having to purchase expensive
gym
equipment. It is intended for individuals who prefer to use
this
equipment and do heavy lifting,
for example
.
In addition
, it is a place for
people
who gain motivation to get that target weight and muscle mass that they could not achieve without any help from these
gym
equipment.
Furthermore
, it is for individuals who like being trained by a personal trainer because some
people
would rather have someone force them into doing exercise. It may increase public health in terms of physical improvement at some point, but not everyone is keen on going to the
gym
for those purposes.
On the other hand
, going to the
gym
is expensive, and
people
who cannot afford that monthly or annual membership fee, would prefer to find an alternative
that is
cheaper and easier to deal with. Jogging,
for instance
, is a form of cardio exercise that could be done just by running around the neighbourhood. Easy and affordable, and there is a high chance you could socialize with other
people
since you are exercising in the same area. Yoga, a form of meditation, is another great example.
People
could do that in public parks
along with
their family and friends and still enjoy the activity. It is like hitting two birds with one stone: less expense and they could achieve a healthier body and mind. In conclusion, there are a number of ways to improve health other than the use of
sports
centres. It is not entirely necessary since parks and neighbourhoods can be used as an alternative for exercise.
Submitted by chalabarite14 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay provides a clear opinion and supports it with relevant examples. However, the discussion of the opposing view could be more detailed to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issue.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The use of cohesive devices is effective, but the connections between ideas could be stronger to improve coherence.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses varied expressions to convey ideas. However, some imprecise word choices and awkward phrasing affect the overall lexical resource.
grammatical range
The essay shows a good command of grammar with a variety of sentence structures. However, there are instances of errors in subject-verb agreement and word usage that affect the accuracy of the language.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: