Some people think that healthcare should be free for everyone; other things that people should pay for their medical cost themselves discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, it is becoming easy for
people
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to get free access to
healthcare
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.
However
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, some
people
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believe that
healthcare
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should be free for everyone,
while
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others argue that
citizens
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should pay for their medical costs. In fact, I side with those who believe that
people
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need to pay for
healthcare
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. On the one hand, free
healthcare
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will be helpful for
citizens
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. It is believed that many
people
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, especially in developing countries still face problems with paying medical costs. They do not have sufficient salary to cover the medicine.
For instance
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, a daughter from a lower-class family does not have much money to get cancer treatment. She can not do anything to survive. By providing free
healthcare
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,
people
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can survive without thinking too much about the cost.
As a result
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, the index of
health
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will improve.
On the other hand
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, the medical costs will make
citizens
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keep their lifestyles healthy. In
this
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modern era, many
people
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do not keep their
health
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. They tend to have bad lifestyles
such
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as drinking alcohol and having free sex. By applying cost for medical treatment,
people
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will think twice about doing bad things in their lives that can affect their
health
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. For illustration, teenagers do not smoke anymore after knowing that
healthcare
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is so expensive.
Consequently
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, more
citizens
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will live healthily.
To sum up
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,
although
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free
health
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services will be meaningful for society, it will make society not pay attention to their
health
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.
Therefore
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, I am firmly convinced that there should be
charge
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a charge
show examples
for medical care.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use linking words more effectively to improve the flow.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points better, as this will strengthen your arguments and show deeper understanding.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion, stating your view right from the start, which is a good practice in IELTS essays.
coherence and cohesion
The structure is generally clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal healthcare
  • equitable access
  • financial burden
  • public health
  • innovation
  • government expenditure
  • personal responsibility
  • preventive care
  • taxation
  • medical infrastructure
  • health equity
  • healthcare system
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