IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The international community must act immediately to ensure that all countries reduce their consumption of fossil fuels, such as gas and oil. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The role of fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
 has become a subject of debate in contemporary society, as individuals demand that all
countries
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 lower their use of fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
 following the exposure of environmental concerns.
Although
Linking Words
 I understand there might be opposing arguments against
this
Linking Words
, I concur with
this
Linking Words
 perspective for several reasons. Primarily, reducing fossil
fuel
Use synonyms
 consumption is a crucial action addressing climate change, especially since we are at a tipping point before the vital and irreversible damage has been made to the Earth based on current climate model data. Research on global warming presents that the usage of fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
 plays a significant role in temperature rising as fossil
fuels
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 contribute to the largest share of greenhouse
gas
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 emissions. Take automobiles, the biggest consumer of gasoline,
for example
Linking Words
. Automobiles have become the most common transportation around the world.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they
also
Linking Words
 generate over 50% of general greenhouse
gas
Use synonyms
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
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. The same situation can be found in other transportation methods as well, especially
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 aviation sector.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, limitations of oil and
gas
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 will create innovation stimulus as the world demands more renewable
energy
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 to replace
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional fossil
fuels
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. In fact, alternative
fuel
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 and
energy
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 options have drawn attention worldwide and the application of the new alternatives grows rapidly.
For instance
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, the operation of wind
energy
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 is commonly seen in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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European
countries
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, and solar
energy
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 systems are widely equipped in the North
America
Replace the word
American
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 region and other tropical
countries
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.
Conversely
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, developing
countries
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 might face challenges
while
Linking Words
 trying to conduct the
energy
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 transition, as they normally have enormous
energy
Use synonyms
 demand but have
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 options when sourcing out the replacement of
fuels
Use synonyms
 at the same time. Finding an alternative way and implementing them globally requires time and financial support from other developed
countries
Use synonyms
, which makes the
fuel
Use synonyms
 limitations even harder.
However
Linking Words
, with appropriate oversight and regulation, it is still worth the effort to limit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gas
Use synonyms
 emissions and slow down the process of global warming. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 there are some valid concerns and challenges regarding fossil
fuel
Use synonyms
 reduction, especially from developing nations, I maintain that the benefits of the consumption limitation significantly outweigh the drawbacks when given the climate emergency and innovation incentives.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your main argument in the introduction for stronger impact.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer linking words between paragraphs to improve flow.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or data to support your main points to enhance credibility.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a good introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You provide strong arguments regarding climate change and innovation in renewable energy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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