IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that machine translation is highly developed in today's society. Therefore, it is not necessary for students to learn a foreign language. What's your opinion?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
In the modern world , technology is used to convert information from one language to another.
Thus
Linking Words
, it may be senseless to learn another tongue. I strongly believe that
this
Linking Words
 is not correct. I will explain
this
Linking Words
 by looking at natural speech and quick talks. Starting with fluent speakers, not only is listening to them like a melody, but it is
also
Linking Words
 connected to a rhythm.
For instance
Linking Words
, when you are sitting in a coffee shop and listening to native speakers, it completely differs from a digital phone assistant. A phone app may give the right words but miss a joke, a polite form, or a sad tone. A machine cannot replace
this
Linking Words
 human link, but students can learn it by studying without relying on a device.
Secondly
Linking Words
, people need to reply quickly in real conversations, and translation apps may slow them down. Not only does a conversation without a computer help appear more natural, but it
also
Linking Words
 enables two or more speakers to interrupt each other in no time.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is possible to give your opinion straightforwardly in the discussion. Despite the fact of not being reliable on devices, it ensures to continue with ongoing debates. Speaking the language helps people explain their ideas and answer at the same time. To summarise, even though the computers and software are on a very high level for translations, artificial intelligence is not as good as human connection and fast, natural talk yet. So, I definitely believe that translation tools are useful, but they cannot fully take the place of speech learning.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, it is highly recommended for young people to invest in communication skills, as they can not be replaced with machinery.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task response
Overall score: 7. Your answer is on topic and your ideas are clear. To move to 8, make each main point more fully shown. Explain more clearly why a joke, polite form, or tone can change the meaning, and why this matters in work, study, or daily life.
Task response
Your second point is good, but some lines repeat the same idea about fast talk. Add one clear real-life case, such as a doctor visit, a job talk, or travel, where a person must answer at once.
Task response
Be careful with very strong claims. Instead of saying a machine “cannot replace” human links, say that it “cannot fully replace” them. This is more fair and fits your own ending.
Coherence and cohesion
The order is easy to follow, but some long sentences are hard to read. For example, the sentence starting “Not only does a conversation...” has too many ideas. Use two short sentences instead.
Coherence and cohesion
Use linking words only when they add meaning. “Despite the fact of not being reliable on devices” is unclear and does not join well with the next idea. Say: “Without an app, people can still keep the talk going.”
Coherence and cohesion
Make the first sentence of each body part more direct. For example: “First, learning a language helps people understand feelings and social meaning.” Then give your example.
Coherence and cohesion
The last part is clear, but it repeats several points. Make it shorter: state your view again, then give the main reason in one or two lines.
Task response
Your opinion is clear from the start: you do not agree that students can stop learning other languages. You give two main reasons: human feeling in speech and the need to reply fast.
Task response
Your coffee shop example is useful. It shows that an app may give words but may not show a joke, a polite way of speaking, or a sad voice.
Coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear shape: opening, two body parts, and an ending. Words such as “For instance”, “Secondly”, “In addition”, and “To summarise” help the reader follow your ideas.
Coherence and cohesion
Each body part has one main point, and the final part clearly returns to your opinion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • machine translation
  • foreign language acquisition
  • cognitive abilities
  • cultural understanding
  • nuance
  • communication skills
  • human connection
  • idioms
  • context
  • error-prone languages
  • global job market
  • versatile
  • cultural content
  • competitive edge
What to do next:
Look at other essays: