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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the performance of a bus company in terms of punctuality, both actual and target (what actually happened compared to what the company was trying to achieve), and the number of complaints and passengers.

The charts below show the performance of a bus company in terms of punctuality, both actual and target (what actually happened compared to what the company was trying to achieve), and the number of complaints and passengers.
#show #performance #bus #company #terms #punctuality #target #complaints #passengers
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The two column charts give information about the proportion of
publics
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public
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 transports moving on time and the quantity of dissatisfy in one thousand passenger's journeys. Looking from an
overall
 perspective, it is obvious that a higher rate of punctuality was witnessed in the year 1999 than
any
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in any
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period
Correct word choice
other period
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. Meanwhile, the most displeasure of public
vehicle
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vehicles
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 was in 2003. As is presented in the first column chart, we can see that the target of
Add an article
the bus
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bus
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buses
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 arriving on time in the years 1999 and 2000 was
highest
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the highest
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, at 86%.
However
, the rate of bus journeys actually on time gained 85% and 82% respectively, the year 2000 saw a threefold decrease in
comparition
Correct your spelling
comparison
 to the goal. In the next three years, it appears that the goal of punctual on
bus
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the bus
a bus
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 was the same, approximately 85%,
nevertheless
, just the year 2003 achieved the goal.
On the other hand
, it can be seen that the number of passengers who
complaint
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complained
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this
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about this
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 service had a tendency to increase.
Firstly
,
this
 figure experienced a remarkable jump
by
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of
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 30 per thousand journeys from 1999 to 2000, after which, it dropped moderately to over 8%
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of passenger's
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passenger's
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passenger
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trip
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trips
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.
Finally
, the
last
 two years noticed a significant go up to 120 per
passengers
Fix the agreement mistake
passenger
show examples
 trip.
Submitted by huynhthimylinh3001 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • punctuality
  • target versus actual performance
  • correlation
  • consistency
  • trends
  • passenger numbers
  • complaints
  • assessment
  • measures taken
  • impact
  • effectiveness
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