IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilities
Some people believe that
firms
 should have social obligations
in addition
 to being only commercial ones. I completely concur with your point of view because doing so results in
firms
 making investments in their sustainable development. In the short term, taking on societal obligations,
such
 as environmental and social ones, could give
firms
 chances to earn money.
Businesses
 can raise their financial credit scores by meeting their tax responsibilities.
This
 is so that
firms
 have the opportunity to approach low-interest loans and raise money more successfully since they can demonstrate that their tax records are clean.
Businesses
 can so benefit from their competition over rivals and increase their earnings.
Additionally
, adopting manufacturing techniques that reduce environmental harm is profitable for companies. By employing
this
 tactic,
firms
 can avoid paying hefty environmental taxes and are shielded from boycotts by environmental groups. In the long term,
this
 tactic might bring both new clients and lasting earnings. When exercising social responsibility,
such
 as through charitable
endeavors
Change the spelling
endeavours
show examples
, one is making an investment in the market’s future.
This
 claim is explained by the idea that by assisting the poor in escaping abject poverty and achieving a higher quality of living,
businesses
 are generating new potential customers who would ultimately buy more of their products in the future.
Additionally
,
this
 tactic assists
firms
 in attracting new clients. In fact, when corporations take on public obligations, they can create an image of themselves as wealth-generating economic units that
also
 help society overcome problems and achieve common objectives. Later, new clients will enter
as a result
 of helping to strengthen relationships and trust between
businesses
 and the community. In conclusion,
businesses
 should take on social responsibilities because doing so is a wise investment in their long-term sustainability even though they are economic entities that produce wealth.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the ideas presented are clearly connected, using a range of linking devices and paragraphing to structure the essay effectively.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the main points with more specific examples and evidence to better illustrate arguments and support the thesis.
task achievement
Maintain the focus on the prompt throughout the essay, consistently developing the central theme as outlined in the introduction.
task achievement
Try to provide a more nuanced argument by exploring potential counterarguments or different perspectives on the issue to fully address the task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
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