IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To wht extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #people #health #food #governments #tax #wht
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In recent years, Fast
food
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 is booming in most of the countries. Whether people should restrict themselves to lead a healthy life or the government should incline tax on those
food
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 items is a never-ending debate. Can anyone deny that one will not intake fast
food
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 if taxes have been revised as they are addicted to the taste and lack of
time
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? Certainly not. Doctors advise every individual not to consume fast
food
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 as it damages
health
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. Mostly, working professionals have
time
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 constraints so, opt for outside
food
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 as they rush up to their workplace which spoils their
health
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. To illustrate, one of my friends staying in the hostel, had unsanitary foods daily and recently got stomach upset, Doctors are struggling to find the root cause.
In addition
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, restaurants will not maintain a clean environment. Outer infrastructure will look decent but the kitchen? Definitely No. Yet, the projection seems to be quite neat.
On the other hand
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, working professionals save their
time
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 by skipping homemade
food
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. Even if the government increase tax, officegoers will order outside
food
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 as they have to rush to their commitments.
For instance
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, an employee inside the campus will get an offer to a meal regularly to their access card, which benefits their neither
health
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.
Apart from
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this
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, though home
food
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 is hygienic people ignore it, for taste comparatively. A lot of biriyani lovers take it twice a week as they are addicted and no one can restrict them.
To conclude
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,
instead
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 of focusing on increasing taxes, why the government can take steps to improve the quality and hygienic
food
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 ? Obviously yes.
Thus
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, I strongly believe that restaurants should be aware of people's
health
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while
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 preparing
food
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 as they are used to taste and few for lack of
time
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.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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