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Band 4.5

Many feel that go to the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think there are more effective methods. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#gym #methods
It is often said that approving of doing
gymnastic
Fix the agreement mistake
gymnastics
show examples
 is the best route to
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
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 in shape
whereas
 individuals believe there are
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
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many ways
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 help
people
 to solve
the
Change the word
their
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 problems
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 health and weight. The writer of
this
 essay
suppose
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supposes
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 going to the sports
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 will help more in keeping fit and will give more details in the
further
 paragraphs. First of all,
gym
Add an article
the gym
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 is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 place which
have
Change the verb form
has
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 many modern facilities to help
people
easy to
Replace the word
easily
show examples
 do exercise.
In addition
, Exercising at the
gym
 reduces the level of the stress hormone and increases the hormone endorphin, which improves mood and reduces pain. At the same time, exercising
also
 helps distract you from negative thoughts and creates opportunities to try new experiences.
Moreover
, at that
site
Add a comma
,site
show examples
 individuals can rent a coach who can guide the beginner
how
Change preposition
on how
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 to work out in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right way.
Conversely
,
people
 can stay fit without
go
Change the verb form
going
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 to the
gym
 by
change
Change the verb form
changing
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 their
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
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such
 as
sleep
Wrong verb form
sleeping
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 early,
Correct word choice
and limit
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limit
Wrong verb form
limiting
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 the habit of using alcohol or fast foods that are high in calories.
For instance
, in UK the
adolescences
Replace the word
adolescents
show examples
 are eating fast food
instead
 of vegetables and the percentage of overweight
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 increasing sharply day by day and from statistics, nutrition experts have come up with many methods to reduce disease rates in young
people
 today, not only in America
in particular
 but
also
 in countries around the world in general. The conclusion that going to the
gym
 will bring more benefits in keeping fit is proven by the above arguments and affirms that the
gym
 is the best place to work out.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical well-being
  • prime option
  • structured exercise routines
  • professional equipment
  • fostering an environment
  • motivation and discipline
  • counter-argument
  • outdoor activities
  • home workouts
  • cost-effectiveness
  • social and emotional satisfaction
  • team sports
  • hybrid approach
  • holistic approach
  • comprehensive benefits
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