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Writing Samples /
Band 7

To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'Social media has had a negative impact on society

#media #impact #society
No doubt that social media revolutionized the whole world.
However
, we cannot deny the fact that with good there comes the bad as well. I strongly agree with the statement and I have ample points to prove my stand.
To begin
 with, nowadays everyone is on
this
 platform and they
use
 it for various purposes.
For example
, a lot of people like to post their pictures or videos online,
while
 they expect some friendly comments from their followers, most often they end up getting rude or violent comments from other folks , which impact them not only on a personal level but
also
 on a social level as well.
Moreover
, the rise in online bullying doubled in the
last
 few years and the numbers are worrying.
In addition
, people of all different ages are using social media now. Most of the time teenagers lie about their age to
use
 it without knowing the consequences of it. Moving
further
, most of the time young people end up getting in trouble as they come in contact with online predators who
use
 social media to lure the vulnerable.
For instance
, A survey conducted by BBC showed that around 3000 teens went missing in the US alone. Not only that, they consume a lot of negative content as well which usually includes explicit content and violent videos examples of a few.
To conclude
, there is nothing wrong with using a platform that helps us to connect with our family and friends.
However
, it totally depends on an individual how they want to
use
this
 magic tool.
Submitted by bbaljinderbrar213 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details to improve the logical structure of the essay.
task response
Provide a stronger and more decisive stance on the extent of your agreement with the statement to enhance task achievement.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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