Some people think that there could be more benefits to society if more people study business than history. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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The question of whether more students majoring in business rather than history could be more beneficial to society as a whole has sparked heated debate. Some claim that knowledge regarding finance and management can cultivate potential corporate leaders,

whereas

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others argue that past events always work as a mirror, reflecting present issues that have happened. In my viewpoint, both subjects have their special values. In the essay, I will elucidate both statements and offer my own opinions. First of all, the advocates of the statement usually emphasize that commercial information can possibly foster high management managers in terms of making domestic industry stronger, and ultimately bringing economic growth to one’s nation.

For instance

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, if international companies

such

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as Apple or Facebook can have more trained supervisors, they might earn more and

finally

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pay more tax to the state.

Therefore

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, the thinking has a very solid ground.

On the other hand

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, many criticize that history cannot provide any practical use.

However

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,historians always provide their insights in various ways.

For example

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, by co-working with military officials and basing on big data, these professors now can build a statistical database to predict whether a war could happen.

Furthermore

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, some financial meltdowns are

also

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forecasted by utilizing historical data, and multiple solutions were introduced to mitigate the negative impacts. In conclusion, both perspectives have valid arguments. Business know-how can nourish CEOs,

while

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historical information can combine with supercomputers and numerous figures to make contributions in multiple fields.

As a result

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, I personally do not agree with the topic provided and view all studying as its intrinsic worth.

aaron.ten.twWed Sep 06 2023

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task achievement

You have provided a clear and comprehensive response to the question. Your arguments are well-presented and supported with relevant examples. However, try to ensure that you address both sides of the argument in a balanced manner.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a logical structure, and your ideas are clearly organized. However, to further enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay, try to use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and create smoother transitions between paragraphs.

lexical resource

Your use of vocabulary is generally appropriate, and you have effectively conveyed your ideas. To improve your lexical resource, consider incorporating more varied and sophisticated vocabulary to enhance the overall quality of your essay.

grammatical range

Your grammatical range is satisfactory, with only minor errors detected. However, pay attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure consistent tense usage throughout your essay.

12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Entrepreneurship
Economic growth
Practical skills
Employment opportunities
Consumer awareness
Global markets
Cross-cultural communication
Cultural awareness
Critical thinking
Historical perspective
Balanced approach

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Some people think that there could be more benefits to society if more people study business than history. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Write an essay that summarizes and evaluates the key points of both texts. Use your own words to the extent

in many developing countries today, air pollution is a major issue. What measures could be taken to prevent this problem in the future?

Many people believe that zoos have no purpose in todays world and should be closed. What problems do zoos bring ? What are the alternatives to zoos if they are closed?

You live near a university and would like to earn some extra money by renting a room in your apartment to a student. Write a letter to the university housing office.