Some people think that there could be more benefits to society if more people study business than history. To what extent do you agree or disagree
The question of whether more students majoring in business rather than history could be more beneficial to society as a whole has sparked heated debate. Some claim that knowledge regarding finance and management can cultivate potential corporate leaders,
whereas
others argue that past events always work as a mirror, reflecting present issues that have happened. In my viewpoint, both subjects have their special values. In the essay, I will elucidate both statements and offer my own opinions.
First of all, the advocates of the statement usually emphasize that commercial information can possibly foster high management managers in terms of making domestic industry stronger, and ultimately bringing economic growth to one’s nation. Linking Words
For instance
, if international companies Linking Words
such
as Apple or Facebook can have more trained supervisors, they might earn more and Linking Words
finally
pay more tax to the state. Linking Words
Therefore
, the thinking has a very solid ground.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, many criticize that history cannot provide any practical use. Linking Words
However
,historians always provide their insights in various ways. Linking Words
For example
, by co-working with military officials and basing on big data, these professors now can build a statistical database to predict whether a war could happen. Linking Words
Furthermore
, some financial meltdowns are Linking Words
also
forecasted by utilizing historical data, and multiple solutions were introduced to mitigate the negative impacts.
In conclusion, both perspectives have valid arguments. Business know-how can nourish CEOs, Linking Words
while
historical information can combine with supercomputers and numerous figures to make contributions in multiple fields. Linking Words
As a result
, I personally do not agree with the topic provided and view all studying as its intrinsic worth.Linking Words
Submitted by aaron.ten.tw on
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task achievement
You have provided a clear and comprehensive response to the question. Your arguments are well-presented and supported with relevant examples. However, try to ensure that you address both sides of the argument in a balanced manner.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, and your ideas are clearly organized. However, to further enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay, try to use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and create smoother transitions between paragraphs.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is generally appropriate, and you have effectively conveyed your ideas. To improve your lexical resource, consider incorporating more varied and sophisticated vocabulary to enhance the overall quality of your essay.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is satisfactory, with only minor errors detected. However, pay attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure consistent tense usage throughout your essay.