IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Technology is destroying social interactions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#technology #interactions
Nowadays
technology
 is improving in our world.Most
people
 are addicted to social
media
.
whereas
technology
 is destroying social interactions.Yes,I agree with the topic . I will discuss why
technology
 is disappearing social interactions.
To begin
 with , improving
technology
 by creating a lot of
media
 sites.
Such
 as websites,social
media
 , YouTube and the internet. In the past , most
people
 communicated using letters and live communication systems.But nowadays there are a lot of platforms created in our world.
Furthermore
 , these days many
people
 communicate by using social
media
instead
 of face-to-face meetings.
Then
 humanity are addicted to social network.
Whereas
 automatically they are moving away from other
people
 . Another thing , many children are using social
media
 .
Then
 children are separated from their parents.
In addition
 , being
technology
 many works are done easily. We do not have to go meet our cousins or some
people
 because we can use talk calls or take video calls for our cosines. It is a good advantage but we miss our cousins and their relationship is separated sometimes.After that , some
people
 use social
media
 to share information.
Then
 some
people
 automatically addicted to the
technology
.
Next,
younger are using
technology
 these days, they are testing some bad work and younger are moving away from their parents. In conclusion , I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 automation is destroying our social interaction.I will discuss the first and second paragraphs, Most
people
 are doing bad work and
people
 are separating their parents and cousins or friends.
Submitted by heshanij9 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • virtual interactions
  • weaker social bonds
  • isolation
  • mental health
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • shallow relationships
  • reduced empathy
  • nuances of emotional expression
  • counterargument
  • physically unable
  • cross-cultural exchanges
  • interpersonal skills
  • communication technology
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