24.In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

#countries #rates #crimes #people #measures

It is true that

although

there is a decrease in the rates of serious crimes,

people

feel more unsafe nowadays. In

this

essay, I will explain the reasons behind

this

phenomenon and outline feasible solutions. I concede that there are some reasons why

people

have more dangerous feelings than before even with the reduction of serious crime, and perhaps the most obvious one is the increase of online

fraud

. When

people

live in the modern world, they often use the

Internet

in their daily

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

such

as chatting with friends, buying stuff and checking their bank statements, in turn making them have more chances to be cheated online. What

this

does is make it extremely detrimental. My Mon,

for instance

, connects with her friends through the

Internet

and once one of her friends who is fake, requests an amount of money. As

such

, she feels unsafe with the

Internet

, which is why

people

have a feeling of hazard.

However

, I believe there are viable actions that can be taken to address

this

issue.

Firstly

, governments should implement educational campaigns to raise the public’s awareness of the dangers of the

Internet

For example

, in China, the authorities conduct a campaign to present the dangers of online

fraud

, leading to a higher awareness of how to avoid

this

kind of trick, and

this

ultimately results in lower online crime.

Secondly

, online

fraud

should be banned by introducing serious regulations. If governments implement serious laws to detect online crime,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

criminals can be deterred by these severe punishments, and

this

makes the

overall

environment safer and is potentially incredibly beneficial. In conclusion, the increase in

people

feeling unsafe

mainly

Add a missing verb

is mainly

show examples

caused by online

fraud

and I believe that there are feasible actions to deal with it.

Submitted by 15219169 on Fri Sep 08 2023

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

availability heuristic
media coverage
misinformation
urbanization
community cohesion
justice system
economic inequality
community policing
media literacy
surveillance
swift justice
social cohesion
neighborhood watch
deterrent

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