IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In recent years, the family structure has changed as well as family roles, what are the changes occurring? Do you think these changes are positive or negative ? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant from your own knowledge or experience.

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In
this
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 era of modernisation, everyone wants to be a part of a small or a nuclear family ,not a joint family. Over the past few years, the family responsibilities and the size of a family have changed.
This
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 essay will discuss how the size and the living preferences are changed
along with
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 the detail of how these changes are affecting the
values
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, and the
respect
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 towards the
elders
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 negatively.
To begin
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 with, the first main change which occurs
due to
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 today's role of the family is that most of the
youngsters
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 do not want to live with their
parents
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 or grandparents. Because, they want their own privacy and maybe their separate home where they can live as they want, and it happens just because of their parent's attitude towards grandparents.
For example
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, most working people do not have to take care of their
elders
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due to
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 their hectic schedules, and the first role model of
youngsters
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 is their
parents
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, so they just follow their
parents
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, and
as a result
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, they want to live separately.
Moreover
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, these changes are not good in terms of
values
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 and
respect
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 for the
elders
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.
For instance
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, if
youngsters
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 do not share how with their
parents
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 or grandparents,
then
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 they might not be able to learn and know the traditions and
values
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 regarding their roots, because at an early ,age they get separated from their
elders
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, so they do not get any chance to know their customs and
values
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 from their ancestors.
Also
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, with that, the new generation will not give
respect
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 to their
parents
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, because they might think they are living with them and they do not have any need to get involved with their
parents
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.
To conclude
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,
this
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 essay discussed how the structure of today's families is affecting the size of the family and living preferences of the
youngsters
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, and how these affect the
values
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 and
respect
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 for the
elders
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. In my opinion, I think the modern structure has negative effects on the young generation.

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task response
The introduction should clearly state the writer's position on the topic. The body paragraphs should provide more specific examples and reasons to support the writer's opinion. Make sure to address both aspects of the topic (positive and negative changes).
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear overall structure. Make sure to use appropriate linking words and phrases to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. Also, use a wider range of cohesive devices such as pronouns, conjunctions, and transition words.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nuclear family
  • extended family
  • dual-income household
  • same-sex parents
  • cohabitation
  • childcare
  • household duties
  • divorce
  • remarriage
  • blended families
  • elderly family members
  • independent living
  • urbanization
  • modernization
  • diverse family structures
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