Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
These days many individuals tend to have their own businesses in comparison with having regular
work
in offices or factories. These people
think that the salary is not enough for them and also
they have much less time to do other work
to increase their income.
Nowadays, many factors influence people
’s lives to change their occupations. These reasons are from technology to overpopulation. Regardless, one of the main points is getting a low salary. Many regular jobs have almost fixed salaries and a company cannot change the rules. So, people
prefer to leave their jobs to run their own businesses. On the other hand
, the worktime usually makes them limited to do other work
. Most common occupations are full-time and it bothers some people
although
there are some situations in which companies or organizations have part-time jobs. These two cases can distract people
’s plans to improve their business and cannot make good decisions for their lives.
However
, there are some drawbacks to being self-employed. When individuals decide to work
for themselves, some problems appear. The first one is losing the insurance work
. This
is the main topic because this
case is related to health issues and insurance is a beneficial factor for employees. Moreover
, retirement salary is another topic for adults, especially for senior citizens. Usually, elder people
cannot work
in old age properly and this
feature can be a good point.
In conclusion, most people
want to be self-employed, rather than work
for a factory or office department. So, people
usually decide to quit their job positions and find a new way to start their business. Actually, this
way is not safe and brings some challenges for those people
and they should find some solution to deal with the difficulties.Submitted by brightstargalaxy on
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task response
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This would make your argument more convincing and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between paragraphs and use more varied transition words to improve coherence and cohesion.
task response
Focus on developing your ideas more clearly and comprehensively to ensure your points are well understood.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader understand the main points.
task achievement
You have addressed the task well, discussing both the reasons for choosing self-employment and the relevant disadvantages.
general language use
Your writing shows a good command of English with only minor grammatical issues.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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