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Band 7

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #work #company #organization #be #case
These days many individuals tend to have their own businesses in comparison with having regular
work
 in offices or factories. These
people
 think that the salary is not enough for them and
also
 they have much less time to do other
work
 to increase their income. Nowadays, many factors influence
people
’s lives to change their occupations. These reasons are from technology to overpopulation. Regardless, one of the main points is getting a low salary. Many regular jobs have almost fixed salaries and a company cannot change the rules. So,
people
 prefer to leave their jobs to run their own businesses.
On the other hand
, the worktime usually makes them limited to do other
work
. Most common occupations are full-time and it bothers some
people
although
 there are some situations in which companies or organizations have part-time jobs. These two cases can distract
people
’s plans to improve their business and cannot make good decisions for their lives.
However
, there are some drawbacks to being self-employed. When individuals decide to
work
 for themselves, some problems appear. The first one is losing the insurance
work
.
This
 is the main topic because
this
 case is related to health issues and insurance is a beneficial factor for employees.
Moreover
, retirement salary is another topic for adults, especially for senior citizens. Usually, elder
people
 cannot
work
 in old age properly and
this
 feature can be a good point. In conclusion, most
people
 want to be self-employed, rather than
work
 for a factory or office department. So,
people
 usually decide to quit their job positions and find a new way to start their business. Actually,
this
 way is not safe and brings some challenges for those
people
 and they should find some solution to deal with the difficulties.
Submitted by brightstargalaxy on

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task response
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This would make your argument more convincing and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between paragraphs and use more varied transition words to improve coherence and cohesion.
task response
Focus on developing your ideas more clearly and comprehensively to ensure your points are well understood.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader understand the main points.
task achievement
You have addressed the task well, discussing both the reasons for choosing self-employment and the relevant disadvantages.
general language use
Your writing shows a good command of English with only minor grammatical issues.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • company
  • organization
  • freedom
  • independence
  • income potential
  • flexibility
  • working hours
  • working location
  • passions
  • interests
  • decision-making
  • business practices
  • disadvantages
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