IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that government should tax unhealthy foods to encourage people to eat healthier. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #government #tax #foods
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Nowadays, eating habits have changed immensely in the
last
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 two or three decades and it is continuously changing day by day. Few folks believe that government should apply a tax on unhealthy bread to decrease the intake in the community and others are opposed to it.
However
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, I totally agree with the given statement
due to
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 several possible reasons which I believe should be considered seriously, and the following paragraphs will expatiate both stances with lucid examples. To commence with, the first and foremost reason for taxing bread which is not good for us is to encourage the community to eat much healthier food. By saying
this
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 what I mean is nation used to check the price before buying a grocery which ultimately helps them to increase the intake of high protein
instead
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 of high calories as they are cheapable.
For example
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: most of the businesses provide free soft drinks with meals to raise their revenue which makes the crowd addicted to these drinks.
Therefore
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, it causes several health problems
such
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 as diabetes, addiction etc.
According to
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 the U.S.A. scenario, there sales of soft drinks were reduced by 50% because of extra money on them. On the other side, most members of society disagree as they think that it is one of the ways of making money by democracy because the population need self-awareness to eat healthier meals. To illustrate, smoke is one of the most expensive products but humans are still smoking either because of awareness or self-control.
Thus
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, the primary step for the government is to provide education related to diseases like high intake of oil can cause obesity, high blood pressure etc.
To conclude
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,
although
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, regulating extra pay on food items is a great measure to control unhealthy pieces of bread we can't deny that self-awareness is
also
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 one of the great tools to prevent certain diseases.
Submitted by buttargurpinder73 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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