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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph gives information about the age of the population of Iceland between 1990 and2022

The graph gives information about the age of the population of Iceland between 1990 and2022
#information #age #population #iceland
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The bar graph shows the percentages
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 in Iceland in the
year
Use synonyms
 1990 to 2020
Overall
Linking Words
, the youth of ice land generation increased throughout
these
Change the determiner
this year
these years
show examples
year
Use synonyms
. All of the
age
Use synonyms
 groups experienced
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fluctuation in the
population
Use synonyms
 and the old people constaint decreased
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
followed by the teenage group. The
age
Use synonyms
 between 25-54
population
Use synonyms
 was highest in the
year
Use synonyms
 1990
about
Change preposition
at about
show examples
 31% and it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
slightly increased throughout the
year
Use synonyms
 and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
35%.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 in 2020 it was the highest
population
Use synonyms
 in Iceland rose up to 49%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
chidern
Correct your spelling
children
 growth was 28% in 1990 and remained
constaint
Correct your spelling
constant
constraint
 in 2000. But in 2010 decreased by
approximatly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 2% it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
experienced declined
steady
Change the adjective
steadily
show examples
 throughout the
year
Use synonyms
. The old
age
Use synonyms
 people and teenage
population
Use synonyms
 was around 12% and 21% in 1990. It
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined by almost 2% in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both
age
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 2000.
However
Linking Words
, it is experienced
constaint
Correct your spelling
constant
constraint
 downward in the people and reach about less than 10%
Submitted by pr6272189 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, year, age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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