Scientists tell us that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people still continue doing unhealthy activities. What are the causes and what are the solutions for this?

#scientists #activities #health #millions #people

Although

several activities are considered to positively affect people's health, a rising level of people continually maintains detrimental ones. In my opinion, stress relief and addictive

habits

are two major factors; and

likewise

, both the government and individuals should take steps to break the habit. There are numerous reasons associated with continuous engagement in harmful activities. The first reason is that individuals find a sedentary lifestyle to cope

Change preposition

apply

show examples

with stress and depression.

This

is because those who have mental illness spend most of their time lying down and lack physical

exercises

Fix the agreement mistake

exercise

show examples

. In fact, lack of exercise on a regular basis can result in a greater risk of developing lifestyle diseases

such

as obesity, cardiovascular diseases, and cancer. Another reason is that many detrimental

habits

such

as smoking, eating junk

food

or excessive gaming can be addictive and are not easy to break.

For example

, junk

food

high in sugar releases dopamine;

therefore

it triggers our brain to overeat. There are several actions that could be taken to mitigate the problems mentioned above.

Firstly

, it is vital for the government to take steps to break bad

habits

by limiting the advertisement of fast

food

on social media,

whereas

a healthy lifestyle should be

further

promoted. With a sense of self-protection and knowledge that everybody around them practises the same habit, I believe that people would find it easier to break their old

habits

Secondly

, the younger generation should take small steps by self-educating about the detrimental impacts of an imbalanced diet in order to have

right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

food

choices that are good for their health. In conclusion, there are various factors leading to a large number of citizens participating in unhealthy activities denying expert warnings and measures that can be implemented to tackle

this

issue.

Submitted by noellanist on Thu Sep 14 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

extended

Task Response: The essay addresses the question and provides relevant arguments for both the causes and solutions of engaging in harmful activities. However, there is room for improvement in providing specific examples to support the points made.

extended

Coherence and Cohesion: The structure of the essay is generally logical, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the flow of ideas could be improved by providing stronger connections between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, including more specific examples would enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

addiction
chemical reactions
dependency
social and cultural norms
convenience
accessibility
education and awareness campaigns
temptations
implementing policies
taxing
supportive environment
accountability
unhealthy habits

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Today, the debate over whether young people should follow their passion when selecting a career or adopt a more pragmatic approach is increasingly pertinent. In my opinion, it is a wiser option to select an occupation that is most likely to provide for the future.
5.5
band
In many countries, the qualities of life in large cities is becoming worse. What are the cause for this problem? What measure should be taken to tackle this problem?
In recent years, the quality of life in large cities has undoubtedly deteriorated. The primary cause of this issue is overpopulation. People are drawn to urban areas rather than the countryside for several reasons, including better job opportunities and superior facilities. However, this influx of people leads to negative impacts such as traffic congestion, air and water pollution, and a high cost of living, all of which contribute to a declining quality of life.
5
band
Some students take a year off and going to university in order to travel or to work. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Undeniably, A large number of high School graduates choose to traveling or working instead of directly entering school. Which is with more positive effects and negative influences.
6
band
Some people think that university students should specialize in one subject, while others think universities should encourage students to learn a range of subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
While it is being considered by some that undergraduates should master one subject, others claim that they should be encouraged to study a wider range of subjects. In my opinion, I believe that learning a range of subjects has immense benefits in terms of fostering various skills and knowledge rather than focusing on a single subject. This essay will delve into sharing my thoughts on both perspectives and will present my viewpoint along with pertinent data.
7
band
Many governments think that economic progres is their most important foal. some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Most governments believe that economic development is the country’s highest goal, while others believe that development of all types is equally important for the country. In my opinion, consider that it is essential for the governments to develop their economy because it can bring a lot of benefits to the country.

Scientists tell us that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people still continue doing unhealthy activities. What are the causes and what are the solutions for this?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In many countries, the qualities of life in large cities is becoming worse. What are the cause for this problem? What measure should be taken to tackle this problem?

Some students take a year off and going to university in order to travel or to work. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that university students should specialize in one subject, while others think universities should encourage students to learn a range of subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many governments think that economic progres is their most important foal. some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.