Scientists tell us that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people still continue doing unhealthy activities. What are the causes and what are the solutions for this?

#scientists #activities #health #millions #people

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Although

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several activities are considered to positively affect people's health, a rising level of people continually maintains detrimental ones. In my opinion, stress relief and addictive

habits

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are two major factors; and

likewise

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, both the government and individuals should take steps to break the habit. There are numerous reasons associated with continuous engagement in harmful activities. The first reason is that individuals find a sedentary lifestyle to cope

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apply

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with stress and depression.

This

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is because those who have mental illness spend most of their time lying down and lack physical

exercises

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exercise

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. In fact, lack of exercise on a regular basis can result in a greater risk of developing lifestyle diseases

such

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as obesity, cardiovascular diseases, and cancer. Another reason is that many detrimental

habits

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such

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as smoking, eating junk

food

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or excessive gaming can be addictive and are not easy to break.

For example

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, junk

food

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high in sugar releases dopamine;

therefore

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it triggers our brain to overeat. There are several actions that could be taken to mitigate the problems mentioned above.

Firstly

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, it is vital for the government to take steps to break bad

habits

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by limiting the advertisement of fast

food

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on social media,

whereas

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a healthy lifestyle should be

further

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promoted. With a sense of self-protection and knowledge that everybody around them practises the same habit, I believe that people would find it easier to break their old

habits

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Secondly

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, the younger generation should take small steps by self-educating about the detrimental impacts of an imbalanced diet in order to have

right

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the right

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food

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choices that are good for their health. In conclusion, there are various factors leading to a large number of citizens participating in unhealthy activities denying expert warnings and measures that can be implemented to tackle

this

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issue.

Submitted by noellanist on Thu Sep 14 2023

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extended

Task Response: The essay addresses the question and provides relevant arguments for both the causes and solutions of engaging in harmful activities. However, there is room for improvement in providing specific examples to support the points made.

extended

Coherence and Cohesion: The structure of the essay is generally logical, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the flow of ideas could be improved by providing stronger connections between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, including more specific examples would enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

addiction
chemical reactions
dependency
social and cultural norms
convenience
accessibility
education and awareness campaigns
temptations
implementing policies
taxing
supportive environment
accountability
unhealthy habits

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Scientists tell us that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people still continue doing unhealthy activities. What are the causes and what are the solutions for this?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

School uniform should be abolished from schools. to what extend do you agree or disagree with it?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.

Government should spend money to encourage the development of sport and art for school students, rather than supporting professional sports and art performance for general public. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult such as, Sahara desert or the Antarcatic What are benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places.