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Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Many people think living in high-rise apartment blocks makes people feel longely and unhappy, while others argue it has advantages. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Due to
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 the development of modernisation, governments allow real estate companies to build more skyscrapers in the city area. Some individuals argue that
this
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 condition creates loneliness and displeasure for certain groups of folks. I agree with someone who opines that the construction of tall building
apartments
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 has its own benefits for society. On the one hand, it is true that
apartments
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 in tower
buildings
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 have several good points.
First,
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living in high-rise
apartments
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 gives
people
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 some daily-life convenience. Normally, apartment constructions are located in the centre of the city, where residents can easily reach various routes of public transportation, shopping centres and hospitals.
Second,
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tall-building flats can attract youngsters and new immigrants from other places to settle down in the cities. The price of buying a flat is much more affordable than purchasing a house, especially for these new residents.
Third,
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the existence of
apartments
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 in the tower
buildings
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 can help boost the rate of employment. The rental of
apartments
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 is cheaper than commercial real-estate properties and
then
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 it gives an opportunity for
people
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 to start small businesses
such
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 as hair salons, nail beauty offices and tattoo studios.
On the other hand
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, in my view of point, a human living in the sky structure suffers loneliness and displeasure. The main reason that condo residents feel lonely is that there is no community activity organised by property companies.
Therefore
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,
people
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 do not have any connections with their neighbours, and they are not able to obtain instant support when they face small life issues.
In addition
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,
people
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 who live in tall
buildings
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 are not happy
due to
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 the unhealthy living environment. Since most of the tower
buildings
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 are based in downtown areas, there are fewer greeneries and more air and noise pollution,
as a result
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, human beings in the tall property cannot breathe fresh air and take a good rest.
Furthermore
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,
due to
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 long-term loneliness and unenjoyment, it will eventually cause problems to human well-being including anxiety and depression. In conclusion, the development of high-rise apartment blocks brings benefits to human beings,
however
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, I believe
people
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 can enjoy their life more and be healthier when living in a non-crowded community.

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Lexical Resource
Keep enriching your vocabulary to maintain a high level of expression throughout your essays. This will further enhance the clarity and impact of your arguments.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Practice varying your sentence structures even more to add sophistication to your writing. Advanced grammatical structures can elevate the readability and elegance of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Excellent structure and logical flow of ideas, making your argument easy to follow.
Task Response
Good use of examples and evidence to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Effective introduction and conclusion that clearly present your viewpoint and summarize the main ideas.
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