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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

many people nowadays tend to marry and have children in their thirties rather then at a younger age.is this a positive or negative development?

#people #children #thirties #age #development
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The majority of couples tie the knot and have babies in adulthood
instead
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 of at a young age. I believe that it is a constructive development, and the reasons for some will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, most parents are employees in different work areas. The root cause of
this
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 act is social and economic status. At
this
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time
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, a job is crucial for an appropriate lifestyle.
In other words
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,nowadays we are living in a competitive world. So the first priority is for the new parents to make themselves financially stable before giving birth to their child. It is a really appreciative step.
Moreover
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, they generate an attractive income and save it for the development of their infants.
For example
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,in 2017, a poll conducted in Germany found that couples are doing official work and can effectively fulfil all the needs of their newborns, including health, education, shelter, etc.
Hence
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, most people prefer to make themselves economically strong before their newborns.
Furthermore
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, some people give importance to themselves and their relationships. To explain it, most newlyweds are influenced by social media celebrities. so that they want to spend quality
time
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 with their partner. They take
time
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 to understand each other.
For instance
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, in 2015, WHO conducted a survey on married people who had been living together for the
last
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 5 years and who had a baby at the age of 30. The report of
this
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 study shows that these pairs and their juniors were more emotionally stable than the other toddlers.
This
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 evidence shows that partners should have a good
time
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 together. In conclusion,not only is money important for the new generation's training but men and wives
also
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 need the precious
time
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 and attention of their loved ones.
Submitted by khuzaimasaeed01 on

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task response
You have addressed the task by discussing the trend of marrying and having children in their thirties instead of at a younger age, and you have presented your view on it. Good job!
coherence cohesion
The overall coherence and cohesion of your essay is decent. However, you can improve it by organizing your ideas more effectively and developing smoother transitions between paragraphs.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is satisfactory, but you could enhance it by incorporating more varied and advanced vocabulary.
grammatical range
There are some grammatical errors in your essay. Make sure to review and revise your sentences for proper grammar usage.
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