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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people spend all their money as they get it, rather than saving for the future. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative situation?

#people #money #future #situation
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Many
people
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 today spend all their
money
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 as soon as they receive it, without saving for the
future
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. There are several reasons for
this
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behavior
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behaviour
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, and it can have both positive and negative effects. One of the main reasons
people
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 spend all their
money
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 is the desire for immediate satisfaction. In today’s consumer-driven society, advertisements and promotions often encourage
people
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 to buy things they do not need.
People
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 might
also
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 feel pressure to keep up with others, leading them to spend
money
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 on material goods to appear successful.
Additionally
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, some
people
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 may not have a strong understanding of the importance of saving, especially if they live paycheck to paycheck, making it harder to set
money
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 aside for the
future
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. Another reason is that many individuals do not think about long-term financial planning. They may feel that saving for the
future
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 is not important or that there is enough time to worry about it later.
This
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 is often the case with younger
people
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 who prioritize living in the present. In terms of whether
this
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 is a positive or negative situation, spending all one’s
money
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 is generally a negative habit. It can lead to financial instability, especially in case of emergencies or unexpected expenses. Without savings,
people
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 may struggle to cope with difficult situations like losing their
job
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jobs
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 or facing a health crisis.
On the other hand
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, a positive aspect is that spending
money
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 can support the economy, as it keeps businesses running and creates jobs. In conclusion,
while
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 there are reasons for spending
money
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 immediately, it is important to understand the long-term benefits of saving.
People
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 should aim to find a balance between enjoying the present and planning for the
future
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.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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task achievement
Include specific examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments, particularly in discussing the reasons why people don't save for the future.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly sets the stage for the essay, and consider using a more engaging opening statement to draw readers in.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well supported, and the discussion of both positive and negative aspects provides a balanced view.
task achievement
The reasons provided for why people tend to spend their money immediately are clear and insightful.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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