IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. Do you agree or disagree?

#governments #money #education #recreation #sports
Some think that governments worldwide should invest more
money
 in
education
 than in
recreation
 and sports. I believe that nations should spend more resources on
education
 than on
recreation
. Some of my reasons will be explored in the remainder of
this
 essay and a logical conclusion will be drawn
at the end
.
Education
 can be the key for poor
countries
 to escape poverty.
Firstly
, history shows that improving the levels of higher
education
 in
countries
 can produce a positive impact on the economy.
For instance
, Estonia was a poor country in the 1990s but the government made the decision to invest in
education
 and nowadays
this
 country has a strong economy. What is more, the Estonian government can provide health care and
recreation
 to their citizens. Clearly, spending
money
 on
education
 should be the priority of decision-makers in poor
countries
. Nowadays, the concept of
education
 is changing from traditional development to supply the workforce to a
model
 base in developing critical thinking and creativity. To illustrate, my friend Diego studied in a private school that followed an integral
model
 and today he is an important consultant that helps
countries
 to find solutions for climate change impacts. So, the change of
education
model
 needs the government to invest
money
 in public schools to change the
education
model
 and find more people like Diego. In conclusion, I admit that
recreation
 and sports are
also
 important for society, but I believe that governments should spend more
money
 on
education
 than on
recreation
 with the intention of improving levels of
education
 and changing the traditional
education
model
 to an integral
model
.
Submitted by alequech on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental
  • workforce
  • fosters
  • innovation
  • inequality
  • circumstances
  • outcomes
  • hygiene
  • private sector
  • initiatives
  • engaged
  • stability
  • cohesion
  • national pride
  • economic development
  • societal progress
What to do next:
Look at other essays: