IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Everyone should stay in school until the age of eighteen. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, education plays an important role in human lives. The government requires youngsters should stay in
school
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 until the
age
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 of eighteen.
However
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, I firmly believe that
school
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 attendance is compulsory for children up to 18 years old for two reasons. The main reason is to develop
students
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' skills. Schools provide compulsory subjects that are very helpful for pupils in order to learn basic skills. By staying until the
age
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 of 18, pupils can be prepared well for their future. They will get prior knowledge in
school
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.
Moreover
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,
this
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 knowledge will be useful for them to take a job or continue their education.
For instance
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, math subjects will be beneficial for
students
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 who want to work as a cashier after they graduate.
As a result
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, citizens can work professionally. The following reason is to improve the youngsters' personal growth. Being surrounded by people of the same
age
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 will help the
students
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 socialize better. They will learn together as classmates. By socializing with their peers, pupils can become familiar with communal life. It will be beneficial for them in the future as part of society.
For instance
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, people can communicate well in their office because they learn it at
school
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.
Thus
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, it will lead to having a good relationship with people in society.
To sum up
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, in
this
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 modern era, many
students
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 need to stay in
school
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 until they are 18 years old.
This
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 program gives the
students
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 good basic skills and improves their personal growth. Having considered the benefits, I strongly agree that staying at
school
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 until the
age
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 of eighteen will be a wise decision.

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task response
The essay provides a clear response to the task, with well-supported ideas and relevant examples. However, ensure that the introduction and conclusion directly address the question and provide a clear stance.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is good, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, ensure that each paragraph is well-connected and that the ideas flow logically throughout the essay.
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