In some countries, older people are encouraged to work longer and avoid retirement. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your opinion.

this

contemporary era,

Although

geriatric persons are working continuously day by day in more companies, it can lead to a harsh impact not only on their social life but

also

on their health condition.

while

In a few nations citizens force elderly people to efforts for longer opportunities and restrict retirement.In

this

essay, I partially disagree with

this

statement and I would like to explain profoundly in the upcoming paragraphs. Commencing with the first point why older people should not be encouraged to go to the job for extended freedom, because if they go to the job they can not concentrate on their performance

as a result

, A significant production will not be completed.

In addition

, Even though older individual have to have great skills in their experience whether it be theoretical or practical, growing age can have a devastating impact on their brain .

For example

, In 2012, Scientists found that only 50% of the brain works in geriatric persons than adults.

Therefore

, Older people should not be reinforced for work or extended freedom no withdrawal. On the other legitimate side, making an to effort continue for short hours may be the advantageous than a long opportunity. when seniors go to their routine jobs in daily life,

this

thing can practice their minds and they will feel rejuvenated

Due to

this

, going to the company in their daily routine time it will give satisfaction and boost their health brain.

For instance

, In INDIA , a few researchers described that if senior citizens were to go to their own businesses for small freedom they would feel renowned and active.

Hence

, it may be fruitful for elders if they go the production in a short period of time.

To conclude

, I certainly argue that working overtime can cause hazardous issues to their frontal region despite that if they struggle for shorter periods it may be better for them not only their body but

also

their mind.

Submitted by tanwarneha678 on Sat Sep 23 2023

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supported main points

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clear comprehensive ideas

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relevant specific examples

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

326 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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