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Band 3.5

Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or Playing Computer games for children. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #stories #book #tv #computer #games #children
In these present days, some kind of people think that reading stories from
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
books
a book
show examples
books
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 better than watching TV and Playing PC games for
infent
Correct your spelling
entertainment
. Personally, I support the idea that
children
 should read
books
 more than watching programs. In fact, more than half
percentage
Correct article usage
a percentage
show examples
 of the world
into
Add a missing verb
is into
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
PC or modern
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
instead
 of
books
.
According to games
Change preposition
Games
show examples
as well as
 programs has many benefits for
children
for instance
 they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
can learn more about tools
which need
Wrong verb form
that are needed
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their life.
Computers
Add a verb
areComputers
wereComputers
show examples
 not only beneficial but
also
 harmful for
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 health. Because between 6 and 12
children
 should be in healthy zone games could influence their psychology. Generally, there are several reasons why I believe that
junior
Fix the agreement mistake
juniors
show examples
 should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
focus on reading stories from a paper. Their ideas hugged day by day,
for instance
 whenever there are read
books
 their mind works fastest
due to
 that degrees
children
 can easily learn languages or new skills and
then
books
sharpes
Correct your spelling
sharpen
 their mental focus at the same time.
To sum up
, with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
books
 our offspring can manipulate the brain. I agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
these topic
Change the determiner
this topic
these topics
show examples
.
Submitted by @ur_davrik on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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