IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevan

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevan
#shops #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons #relevan
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph depicts the number of
shops
Use synonyms
 that closed and the number of new facilities that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that the closed
shops
Use synonyms
 were the most popular before the
shops
Use synonyms
 which opened replaced it in 2012.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
shops
Use synonyms
 which opened obtained high quantities,
while
Linking Words
 the closed
shops
Use synonyms
 lowest.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, a shop which is opened had over 8,000 before falling significantly to 4,000 in 2012.
However
Linking Words
, it fluctuated gradually until 2015 and came back to the past position.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it maintained the same level during the next 2 years , before dropping steadily to 3,000 in the final years. With regards to
shops
Use synonyms
 which closed, it fluctuated progressively from 6,000 to over 6,000 in 2014 before decreasing significantly to under 1,000 in 2015.
However
Linking Words
, it showed a significant increase to 5,000 in 2016 and maintained the same level in the final years.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
shops
Use synonyms
 which were closed had the largest quantities over the period in question.
Submitted by dimash171206 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the seventh paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 85%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words shops with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: