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Band 6

Fewer and fewer young people are doing sports nowadays.Whiy is this?Is this positive or negative development?

#people #sports #whiy #development
In
this
 day and age, young people’s attention is spent less
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 exercising since there is
taken
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a large amount
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
quantity of their activity to other factors.
While
 some potential reasons cause
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 tendency , my perspective can extend negative consequences behind
this
 pattern.
To begin
 with, there are some grounds that why modern adolescents’ pastime may be seen
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 indoor activities much more than outdoors. They are fully occupied running a making-money race to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their social needs. That’s why they do not desire to become
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
members
Add an article
the members
show examples
 of the gym
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
. Meanwhile , in the era of new technologies and gadgets youngsters are intrigued
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 browsing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online networks as they tend to be more competitive for hunting knowledge. It is an appropriate example that students spend a quarter of their time
to search
Wrong verb form
searching for
show examples
 information
due
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
improving
Wrong verb form
improve
show examples
 their qualifications.
Likewise
, laziness is observed frequently on adults’ character since they are addicted to video games or movies which are considered a substantially demanding way to mitigate their stressful situations.
On the other hand
, there may be some detrimental effects that a
short
Replace the word
shortage
show examples
 of young
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 time
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
contributed
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 attending
gym
Add an article
the gym
a gym
show examples
.
Firstly
,
less
Rephrase
fewer people
show examples
 attempting
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 can face hazardous health problems
such
 as obesity , heart
attaches
Correct your spelling
attacks
show examples
 and
blood
Correct word choice
high blood
show examples
 pressure.
For instance
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 survey
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Oxford
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
 proved that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inactivity can
led
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to heart
diseases
Fix the agreement mistake
disease
show examples
due to
 not turning blood properly in blood vessels. Meanwhile, unhealthy daily routines which
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 being done exercises regularly to grow individuals’ adroitness , can take a step to make young people
be disappoint
Change the verb form
be disappointed
show examples
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their lifestyles.
Consequently
, they
are seemed
Wrong verb form
seem
show examples
 to lose themselves around difficulties.
To sum up
, there is a growth
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the preference
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 outdoor activities among young people
due to
fact
Correct article usage
the fact
show examples
 that they feel
to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
busy
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
earnings
Correct pronoun usage
their earnings
show examples
 or a lack of willingness to achieve a goal to do
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
show examples
.
As a result
, they confirm some health or mental issues to damage them.
Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on

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