Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #culture #tourism #revenue

Nowadays, protecting

culture

is one of the most important issues

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

facing us, the majority of

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

claimed

Wrong verb form

claim

show examples

that

culture

will be ruined if there used to earn

tourism

income

while

others

believed

Wrong verb form

believe

show examples

that

just

Rephrase

apply

show examples

only

tourism

is the way of

conservation

Replace the word

conserving

show examples

culture

. In my opinion, I lean toward the

later

Correct your spelling

latter

show examples

idea. Discussed below are several supporting my perspective. First and foremost, it

is widely acknowledge

Change the verb form

is widely acknowledged

show examples

that people decide that

traveling

Wrong verb form

travel

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

another

Replace the adjective

another country

other countries

show examples

countries

to enjoy the atmosphere and

culture

there.

This

means that they try

harmonying

Correct your spelling

harmonizing

harmony

harmonising

the novel

culture

that not have in their

countries

For instance

, many

Vietnameses

Correct your spelling

Vietnamese

travel to Japan, Korea,

China

Correct word choice

and China

show examples

to wear

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

traditional

cloths

Correct your spelling

clothes

show examples

this

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

big fame

Change preposition

apply

show examples

all over the world to know about their characteristic things. Another point worth

consideration

Replace the word

considering

show examples

is lots of

tourisms

Correct your spelling

tourists

show examples

can have a big income for

that

Correct determiner usage

those

show examples

countries

This

statement

also

means that the

qualities

Fix the agreement mistake

quality

show examples

of inhabitants

also

be improved because of the money that

tourisms

Correct your spelling

tourists

show examples

bring to them as a prime example that the authorities could use

this

money to build more modern things. On the

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

hand, there are several arguments in

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

of the idea that

culture

could be destroyed by

tourism

. It is

also

convincing to realise that

tourism

can satiric their own

natural

Replace the word

nature

show examples

by making it more special. A special example of

this

is that

tourisms

Correct your spelling

tourists

show examples

make the traditional cloths into another shape.

Moreover

, maybe

tourism

bring

Change the verb form

brings

show examples

their own

culture

of their

countries

to travel and

then

make citizen get used to joining that,

then

they would forget what is the

culture

of their

countries

. Taking everything into conclusion, both sides have their own advantages but in my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

I put more

hightlight

Correct your spelling

highlight

on the idea that there should be more

tourisms

Fix the agreement mistake

tourism

show examples

to keep and protect

culture

Add an article

the culture

a culture

show examples

of every

countries

Change to a singular noun

country

show examples

Tue Sep 26 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Question: Recent study show that over-eating is causing more problem globally more than hunger. What can be the problem of over-eating. How can this problem be solved.

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

ome people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

What activities have you been involved in that have helped you or others overcome barriers while pursuing an interest in STEM learning?