Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Nowadays, protecting
culture
is one of the most important issues that
facing us, the majority of Correct pronoun usage
apply
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
claimed
that Wrong verb form
claim
culture
will be ruined if there used to earn tourism
income while
others believed
that Wrong verb form
believe
just
only Rephrase
apply
tourism
is the way of conservation
Replace the word
conserving
culture
. In my opinion, I lean toward the later
idea. Discussed below are several supporting my perspective.
First and foremost, it Correct your spelling
latter
is widely acknowledge
that people decide that Change the verb form
is widely acknowledged
traveling
Wrong verb form
travel
in
Change preposition
to
another
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
countries
to enjoy the atmosphere and culture
there. This
means that they try harmonying
the novel Correct your spelling
harmonizing
harmony
harmonising
culture
that not have in their countries
. For instance
, many Vietnameses
travel to Japan, Korea, Correct your spelling
Vietnamese
China
to wear Correct word choice
and China
the
traditional Correct article usage
apply
cloths
, Correct your spelling
clothes
this
lead
to Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
the
big fame Correct article usage
apply
to
all over the world to know about their characteristic things. Another point worth Change preposition
apply
consideration
is lots of Replace the word
considering
tourisms
can have a big income for Correct your spelling
tourists
that
Correct determiner usage
those
countries
. This
statement also
means that the qualities
of inhabitants Fix the agreement mistake
quality
also
be improved because of the money that tourisms
bring to them as a prime example that the authorities could use Correct your spelling
tourists
this
money to build more modern things.
On the others
hand, there are several arguments in Correct quantifier usage
other
favor
of the idea that Change the spelling
favour
culture
could be destroyed by tourism
. It is also
convincing to realise that tourism
can satiric their own natural
by making it more special. A special example of Replace the word
nature
this
is that tourisms
make the traditional cloths into another shape. Correct your spelling
tourists
Moreover
, maybe tourism
bring
their own Change the verb form
brings
culture
of their countries
to travel and then
make citizen get used to joining that, then
they would forget what is the culture
of their countries
.
Taking everything into conclusion, both sides have their own advantages but in my opinion
I put more Add a comma
,opinion
hightlight
on the idea that there should be more Correct your spelling
highlight
tourisms
to keep and protect Fix the agreement mistake
tourism
culture
of every Add an article
the culture
a culture
countries
.Change to a singular noun
country
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite