Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, protecting
culture
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is one of the most important issues
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
facing us, the majority of
citizen
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citizens
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claimed
Wrong verb form
claim
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that
culture
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will be ruined if there used to earn
tourism
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income
while
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others
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
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that
just
Rephrase
apply
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only
tourism
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is the way of
conservation
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conserving
show examples
culture
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. In my opinion, I lean toward the
later
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latter
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idea. Discussed below are several supporting my perspective. First and foremost, it
is widely acknowledge
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is widely acknowledged
show examples
that people decide that
traveling
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travel
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in
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to
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another
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
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countries
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to enjoy the atmosphere and
culture
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there.
This
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means that they try
harmonying
Correct your spelling
harmonizing
harmony
harmonising
the novel
culture
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that not have in their
countries
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.
For instance
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, many
Vietnameses
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Vietnamese
travel to Japan, Korea,
China
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and China
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to wear
the
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apply
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traditional
cloths
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clothes
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,
this
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lead
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leads
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to
the
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apply
show examples
big fame
to
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apply
show examples
all over the world to know about their characteristic things. Another point worth
consideration
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considering
show examples
is lots of
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tourisms
Correct your spelling
tourists
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can have a big income for
that
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those
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countries
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.
This
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statement
also
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means that the
qualities
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quality
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of inhabitants
also
Linking Words
be improved because of the money that
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tourisms
Correct your spelling
tourists
show examples
bring to them as a prime example that the authorities could use
this
Linking Words
money to build more modern things. On the
others
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other
show examples
hand, there are several arguments in
favor
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favour
show examples
of the idea that
culture
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could be destroyed by
tourism
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. It is
also
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convincing to realise that
tourism
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can satiric their own
natural
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nature
show examples
by making it more special. A special example of
this
Linking Words
is that
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tourisms
Correct your spelling
tourists
show examples
make the traditional cloths into another shape.
Moreover
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, maybe
tourism
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bring
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brings
show examples
their own
culture
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of their
countries
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to travel and
then
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make citizen get used to joining that,
then
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they would forget what is the
culture
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of their
countries
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. Taking everything into conclusion, both sides have their own advantages but in my
opinion
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,opinion
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I put more
hightlight
Correct your spelling
highlight
on the idea that there should be more
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tourisms
Fix the agreement mistake
tourism
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to keep and protect
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culture
Add an article
the culture
a culture
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of every
Use synonyms
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
.
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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