In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
At present, inadequate weight has increased among certain demographics of society as well and their healthy lives are reducing. From my perspective, over-intake in fast foods and lack of exercise are the main causes of these problems.
However
, arising issues seem to be continuously looming over these prospects which will be discussed below and I will offer my views.
Linking Words
To begin
with, the rising of weight is significantly increased among Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
due to
fast foods. Today, Linking Words
time
is money. Use synonyms
Therefore
, Linking Words
people
do not spend much Use synonyms
time
making Use synonyms
food
in their homes. Use synonyms
Thus
, they go to restaurants or street Linking Words
food
shops to buy Use synonyms
food
and save Use synonyms
time
. Use synonyms
Consequently
, they can quickly face an illness. Linking Words
For instance
, over intake of oils, salts and sugars can lead to heart disease, diabetes, formation of kidney stones and liver failures. Another reason is lack of exercise. In the sophisticated world, Linking Words
people
only focus on their work rather than exercise. Use synonyms
As a result
, their fitness level has decreased consistently.
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On the other hand
, these arising issues should be controlled by their own self and government officials. Remarkably, Linking Words
people
should make Use synonyms
food
in their homes in order to order outside. Use synonyms
Also
, parents wanted to create a rule for their children and make it a habit to eat a home. Linking Words
Furthermore
, the government should create legislation for restaurants to minimize the open hours Linking Words
as well as
Linking Words
people
's fitness. These are some records, in Japan, the government includes free fitness gyms for 24 hours for everyone Use synonyms
while
they can use their free Linking Words
time
. Use synonyms
Therefore
, Japan's Linking Words
people
's average death age is around 90 years old. Use synonyms
That is
higher than in other countries.
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To conclude
, healthy growth is important for every individual. Linking Words
Consequently
, everyone should take care of their own self without depending on others. Linking Words
Thus
, they should focus on exercising and healthy intake of Linking Words
food
,Use synonyms
Linking Words
Otherwise
they cannot survive healthily.Add a comma
Otherwise,
Submitted by krishmahendran19 on
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task response
The essay addresses the topic but lacks clear and comprehensive ideas. The examples provided are somewhat relevant but need further development and specificity.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is somewhat maintained, but the introduction and conclusion need improvement. The development of ideas and supporting examples could also be enhanced for better coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
The lexical resource demonstrates good range but lacks precision and accuracy in usage. There is a need to improve vocabulary and use more appropriate and specific words and phrases.
grammatical range
The grammatical range is competent but there are instances of grammatical errors, especially in sentence structure. The use of varied and complex sentence structures needs improvement for a higher score.