Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#violence #playgrounds #parents #children

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In today's world,

along with

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the improvement in folk's lifestyle, crime rates are

also

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tremendously rising.

According to

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various studies, it is found that several violent

activities

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like bullying and fighting take place at the parks. In my opinion, it is the duty of nurturers to educate their kids regarding manners. The reasons to support my aforementioned statement

along with

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several examples will be elaborated in the following paragraphs.

To begin

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, the first and foremost reason

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apply

show examples

is that violent

activities

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have an adverse impact on youngster's life and education.

While

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indulging in brutal schemes, children will not be able to give proper attention towards their studies.

For instance

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, they will create

violence

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at school too by hitting other students.

Due to

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harsh behaviour, school authorities might rusticate the student.

However

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, it is the duty of parents to teach their kids the right moves and the disadvantages of

violence

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before any mishappening. Moving towards the other reason, every kid establishes their future from childhood

activities

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. In my opinion,

violence

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should always be prohibited

at the first stage

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by parents. There are several criminals in the world who destroyed their families and friends.

For example

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, in India, the kids and wives of a few criminals are not aware of their presence in the world, they never met each other.

Therefore

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, In order to save the country's future and Individual's life, every nurturer should take the initiative to kill crime at a young age.

To conclude

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, violent

activities

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at every age are common nowadays but parents can stop the crime by educating their children regarding the drawbacks of

violence

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This

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step will assist children in focusing on education and the future.

Submitted by shivaniphg123 on Thu Sep 28 2023

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Correction

There are some minor grammatical and wording errors present. For example, 'youngsters' life' should be 'youngsters' lives', 'wives of a few criminals are not aware of their presence in the world' needs rephrasing for clarity, etc.

Tone and register

Be cautious of terms that could come across as overly dramatic or exaggerated, such as 'kill crime', as this can detract from the overall professionalism and clarity of the essay.

Expand ideas

Although points were made and supported, they could have been more impactful with less repetition and a greater range of vocabulary.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

7.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

success is determined by handwork, and luck has no relation to success.providing specific examples and reasons to support your position do you agree or disagree with this idea

Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Now a days individual take their family with them to abroad whenever they go for business trip . What are the advantage and disadvantages on individual and his family?

Some people say that the best way to teach children to behave well is to punish them. Others argue that rewarding and praising children is a better way to teach them the difference betweeen right and wrong. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that children should be involved in making their school\'s rules. Others say that only adults should make the school\'s rules. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion