IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe that the culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

#people #culture #tourism #revenue
Although
 it is thought that using
tourism
 to earn money will ruin the
culture
, others say that only
tourism
 can protect art. Many individuals believe that
culture
 will be destroyed when
people
 use
tourism
 with the purpose of making a vast income because ability could be changed in a definitely negative way,
whereas
 I agree with those individuals who say only
tourism
 can save the perception as crowd can publicize their own perception through travel.
To begin
, many
people
 believe earning money from
tourism
 will destroy the
culture
 because a change in
civilization
 is generally possible. To explain, changing the art in order to interest the foreign communities so that the number of tourists visiting the country can be increased and
also
 the profit from
tourism
.
This
 will cause
tourism
 to be ruined with the wrong information changed
as a result
. To continue, I totally agree with those who say the only measure to keep
civilization
 safe is through touristry
due to
 the publications of the
culture
 by travel. By way of explaining,
people
 can publicize their
civilization
 through
tourism
 in order to increase a higher rates of tourists from abroad.
For example
, by using cultural information to improve
tourism
, more communities all around the world will know about their country through
tourism
, not only that, the ability of vast earnings from travel can be higher. In conclusion, I obviously agree that only
tourism
 can save the
culture
 as
people
 can publicize their own art through
tourism
,
while
 many individuals believe that
civilization
 will be destroyed when society uses tours with the purpose of making a vast income because
culture
 could be changed in a definitely negative way.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: