IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that the culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Although
Linking Words
 it is thought that using
tourism
Use synonyms
 to earn money will ruin the
culture
Use synonyms
, others say that only
tourism
Use synonyms
 can protect art. Many individuals believe that
culture
Use synonyms
 will be destroyed when
people
Use synonyms
 use
tourism
Use synonyms
 with the purpose of making a vast income because ability could be changed in a definitely negative way,
whereas
Linking Words
 I agree with those individuals who say only
tourism
Use synonyms
 can save the perception as crowd can publicize their own perception through travel.
To begin
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 believe earning money from
tourism
Use synonyms
 will destroy the
culture
Use synonyms
 because a change in
civilization
Use synonyms
 is generally possible. To explain, changing the art in order to interest the foreign communities so that the number of tourists visiting the country can be increased and
also
Linking Words
 the profit from
tourism
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 will cause
tourism
Use synonyms
 to be ruined with the wrong information changed
as a result
Linking Words
. To continue, I totally agree with those who say the only measure to keep
civilization
Use synonyms
 safe is through touristry
due to
Linking Words
 the publications of the
culture
Use synonyms
 by travel. By way of explaining,
people
Use synonyms
 can publicize their
civilization
Use synonyms
 through
tourism
Use synonyms
 in order to increase a higher rates of tourists from abroad.
For example
Linking Words
, by using cultural information to improve
tourism
Use synonyms
, more communities all around the world will know about their country through
tourism
Use synonyms
, not only that, the ability of vast earnings from travel can be higher. In conclusion, I obviously agree that only
tourism
Use synonyms
 can save the
culture
Use synonyms
 as
people
Use synonyms
 can publicize their own art through
tourism
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 many individuals believe that
civilization
Use synonyms
 will be destroyed when society uses tours with the purpose of making a vast income because
culture
Use synonyms
 could be changed in a definitely negative way.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: