Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals

Over the past few decades, there has been a dramatic increase in environmental issues

such

as the growing number of endangered species and plants or

climate

change

. Some people believe that preventing the loss of particular animals is the most crucial measure, but others argue that we have to pay attention to more important natural

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

. On the one hand, there are plenty of defenceless creatures that are almost vanishing from nature. These kinds of animals or plants proceed to live in places that are able to ensure their safety,

however

this

can not be continued for a long time. Wild animals have to adapt to their surroundings to survive without the assistance of people.

This

can lead to an unbalance in the ecosystem, which is created perfectly.

Consequently

, we have to avoid the loss of the population of some species to balance the environment again.

On the other hand

, there are some huge problems that are capable of destroying humanity. One of them is

climate

change

, which is so tough to solve. Because a bunch of manufacturing industries consume raw materials like coal or oil that emit carbon dioxide.

This

element is an essential part of the stuff that we use in our daily routine, and

this

also

the main cause of

climate

change

Due to

its demand, it is difficult to exterminate from society. If we tackle

climate

change

, we can

also

save humans and endangered creatures. I completely agree with

this

statement.

To sum up

all aforementioned points, I consider that tackling the issue of

climate

change

can

change

the state of the world, including endangered species.

Submitted by ieltssat8 on Sun Oct 01 2023

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Task Response

Ensure that all parts of the essay directly address the prompt and provide a comprehensive response. Consider addressing the opposing viewpoint more thoroughly to show a deeper understanding of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

Maintain a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Use transition words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs more effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
extinction
habitat loss
ecosystem
food chain
imbalance
interconnected
climate change
pollution
personal actions
policy changes
education
awareness

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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues, while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with a colleague?

Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that chilren should go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life. What are the main problems people in cities face, and how can these problems be tackled?

In the past decade, we have developed new advances in medical services and it is believed by some that in another decade or so computers might take over a vast majority of the traditional medical doctor’s work. Discuss the pros and cons of this advancement and give your opinion about it.