Nowadays, people are spending increasingly large amounts of money on their marriage parties. Many people feel large and expensive weddings cause problems for the bride and groom. Do you agree? Use personal examples in your response

Nowadays, many
people
spend more money on wedding parties.
However
,
this
trend can
cause
problems
for the
bride
and
groom
. In fact, I firmly agree with
this
statement for two main reasons. The first reason why expensive
weddings
cause
problems
is over budget. In
this
modern era, many
people
want to hold a grand wedding
party
because want to show their social status. By holding expensive
weddings
, citizens can impress the guests.
This
party
will make them
people
labeled
Change the spelling
labelled
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
rich
families
.
Moreover
,
this
attitude will make them take loans from the bank to celebrate grand
weddings
because they do not have enough budget. It will
cause
problems
for their future
such
as they can not pay for the installment.
For instance
, the
bride
should sell her wedding ring because her husband has to pay for the bank
installment
Change the spelling
instalment
show examples
.
As a result
,
people
can lose their valuable items by paying the
installment
Change the spelling
instalment
show examples
. The next reason is less satisfaction. Holding a grand wedding means inviting a large number of
people
. The
bride
and
groom
have to great many
people
that come to their
party
.
Nevertheless
, they cannot focus on their wedding. It will make sense that the wedding will be less sacred. They cannot feel intimate with their
families
as their
families
are
also
busy greeting the guests. For illustration, the
bride
and the
groom
have to take photos with their
families
because too many guests that asking to take pictures during the
party
.
Consequently
, the
bride
and
groom
do not feel any sense of their wedding dream.
To sum up
, grand
weddings
become popular presently.
However
,
this
trend can
cause
problems
such
as over budget and less satisfaction.
Therefore
, I am strongly convinced that expensive
weddings
are perceived as a negative trend.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Include a clear thesis statement in your introduction.
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Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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