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Band 6.5

The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#road #safety #punishments #offenses
There is currently a debate about whether imposing stricter penalties on inappropriate drivers is the sole solution to promoting
road
safety
. I strongly disagree with
this
 statement because, in my view,
road
safety
 depends not only on the severity of punishments but
also
 on effective
traffic
 rule enforcement and heightened public awareness. One compelling reason why I argue that
traffic
 rules play a pivotal role in addressing
this
 issue is that rules form the fundamental framework that shapes societal
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Moreover
, stringent
traffic
laws
 can deter drivers from engaging in dangerous
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 on the
road
, thereby fostering a safer driving environment. To illustrate, individuals contemplating driving home after consuming alcoholic beverages, which could lead to accidents, are more likely to reconsider their actions when faced with the consequences outlined in
traffic
laws
.
Consequently
, rules are instrumental in preventing potentially hazardous situations. Another key factor supporting my stance is the importance of individual awareness and responsibility in ensuring
road
safety
. Despite the existence of stringent penalties in
traffic
laws
, some individuals continue to flout them. By educating drivers about these
laws
 and cultivating a mindset of respect for fellow citizens on the
road
, we can significantly improve driver
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
For example
, a well-informed driver with a positive attitude toward
road
safety
 is more likely to become a responsible and law-abiding motorist, thereby contributing to a safer
traffic
 environment.
Therefore
, encouraging a collective commitment to safe driving is paramount in enhancing
road
safety
. In conclusion, I firmly believe that achieving
road
safety
 requires more than just imposing harsher penalties on offenders. It necessitates a multifaceted approach that includes effective
traffic
 rule enforcement and the cultivation of public awareness and responsibility. By addressing these aspects comprehensively, we can work towards building a safer and more secure
road
 environment for everyone.
Submitted by Amp on

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coherence cohesion
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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