The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the healthcare system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to solve this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some of the public feel that the optimum way to address the strain that the rising number of obese

people

Use synonyms

put on the healthcare system is to add

Change preposition

apply

show examples

more physical education classes in an effort to tackle the health issues involved. I disagree to a certain extent and will explain why a prevention measure is a better approach.

While

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many think that extra lessons on the human physique could help curb the increasing amount of

people

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becoming obese, it might not be the best solution.

Firstly

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just being educated on the topic is not enough, but as

community

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a community

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, we should implement a system that will encourage the masses to eat healthy from the start as a way to prevent the population from becoming overweight. As

such

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, the government should

place

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a tax on

sugar

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, the main culprit of creating health issues as over-processed foods that contain a lot of

sugar

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affect the

overall

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health of a person the most.

For example

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, marketing and advertisements tend to push sugary cereals as a healthy breakfast choice when it is obviously not, considering how high the amount of

sugar

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is present as an ingredient.

Therefore

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, once a

sugar

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tax is in

place

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, the cost of overly sweet food items would deter consumers from purchasing and consuming them.

As a result

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this

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would lead to more

people

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opting for healthier choices for breakfast,

such

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as oatmeal, greek yoghurt and fruits. Aside from diet, promoting a healthy lifestyle is another great way to nip the flower in the bud.

For example

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, making sure that new parents and young children are educated on nutrition can help prevent the population from growing fat in the first

place

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. In conclusion, I disagree that introducing more physical education courses would help much in terms of helping to shoulder the pressure that the increasing number of overweight

people

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put on the healthcare system. Rather, it is better to

place

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taxes on

sugar

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and promote a healthy lifestyle.

ttch90Sat May 10 2025

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task achievement

Consider providing more detailed explanations and examples to strengthen your main points. For instance, elaborating on how a sugar tax could effectively change consumer behavior would enhance your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that transitions between your paragraphs are smooth and clear. For example, linking the conclusion back to your introduction could create a stronger sense of closure.

task achievement

You have presented a clear stance on the topic and logically structured your argument, which is a strong point of your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Your use of examples, such as the impact of sugary cereals, effectively illustrates your main points, making your argument more relatable.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

328 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
healthcare system
health issues
physical education
promote
healthy lifestyles
fitness
motivation
supportive environment
community sports
multi-faceted approach
accessibility
recreational facilities
healthy eating habits
government policies
intervention
wellness
lifestyle changes
preventative measures

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The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the healthcare system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to solve this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. With today’s technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasingly responsible for unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? High schools should allow students to study the courses that students want to study. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.