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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one are of Britian. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distribiuted.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one are of Britian. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distribiuted.
#information #police #budget #britian #money #show
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The given table shows where the
police
Use synonyms
 fund came from in
both
Use synonyms
 2017 and 2018 in one region of Britain,
while
Linking Words
 the pie charts show in which category
this
Linking Words
 fund
spent
Add a missing verb
was spent
show examples
 in these two
years
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, in 2018, the
budget
Use synonyms
 allocated to
police
Use synonyms
 was more than that of 2017.
However
Linking Words
, in
both
Use synonyms
 two
years
Use synonyms
 the highest
amount
Use synonyms
 of the
money
Use synonyms
 which belonged to the
police
Use synonyms
budget
Use synonyms
, came from the National Government.
Also
Linking Words
 the largest proportion of the
budget
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
spent
Add a missing verb
is spent
show examples
 on salaries. As shown in the table, the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
budget
Use synonyms
 allocated to
police
Use synonyms
 from all categories in 2018 was slightly more than the
money
Use synonyms
 which was given as a fund to
police
Use synonyms
 in 2017 (177.8
m
Correct your spelling
million
 pounds in 2018 and 175.5
m
Correct your spelling
million
 pounds in 2017). But in
both
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 the share of the
budget
Use synonyms
 that came from the national government was the largest
amount
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the lowest
budget
Use synonyms
 came from a variety of other sources (38 in 2017 and 38.5 in 2018). The
money
Use synonyms
 came from local taxes ranked second among the sources which provide the
police
Use synonyms
budget
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the pie charts, the largest
amount
Use synonyms
 of the
budget
Use synonyms
,
spent
Add a missing verb
was spent
show examples
 on the salaries of officers and staff in
both
Use synonyms
 two
years
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 in 2017
this
Linking Words
 proportion
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 a bit higher than in 2018 (75% and 69% respectively). In
both
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 the share of the
budget
Use synonyms
 which was spent on technology was the lowest(8% in 2017 and 14% in 2018). Only 17% of the
money
Use synonyms
 was paid for building and transport in
both
Use synonyms
 2017 and 2018.
Submitted by z.rajabi on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words police, both, years, budget, amount, money with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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