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Band 7.5

20.Some people think that, to learn about other countries, traveling abroad is necessary while others think that is not necessary because TV and the internet can give the same information. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #countries #tv #internet #information
While
 some people believe that travelling abroad to enhance their knowledge is necessary, others believe it is not important because there are numerous media sources that provide ample information about customs and traditions.
This
 article aims to explore both aspects.
However
, I believe that travelling abroad is worth it, even though there are significant financial costs involved.
Firstly
, many individuals believe that travelling abroad is necessary.
This
 may be because they will personally interact with the locals, ultimately leading to an exchange of cultures and beliefs.
Moreover
, mutual interaction will help them develop healthy relationships with the citizens of these countries.
For example
, in modern times, a large number of people
travel
 abroad for education, religious purposes, business, and other reasons. In the form of tourism.
This
 facilitates the communication of their cultural norms. In short, those who support
this
 perspective are on the right track.
In contrast
, opponents claim that there is no need to
travel
 to different places because a wealth of digital resources provides a wealth of knowledge about different parts of the world. Nowadays, there are a large number of satellite channels that can entertain an individual without having to spend money on
travel
 expenses
such
 as flights and hotels. Take the 21st century as an example. We have access to internet facilities that allow us to expand our horizons by searching for anything on Google.
Therefore
, it can be said that modern devices have reduced the need for
travel
. All in all,
although
 society is divided on how to
travel
 to other countries, there are some who consider it necessary
while
 another part of society opposes it
due to
 the ease of accessing various resources. Personally, I do not believe that
this
 device can replace the enjoyment of travelling abroad.
Submitted by y2083749065 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your ideas more clearly and using cohesive devices to improve coherence.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and more advanced language to enhance your lexical resource.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation errors to improve grammatical range and accuracy.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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