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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below shows the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below shows the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#japanese #tourists #australia #tourist #market #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates the
number
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 of
Japanese
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tourists
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 going for a trip outside their country between 1985 and 1995, and the line chart indicates
Australian’s
Correct your spelling
Australia’s
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 share in
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Japanese
Correct article usage
the Japanese
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 tourist market which the data is gathered in percentage in the same period of time as the bar chart.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
Japanese
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tourists
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 having a trip abroad continuously increased between 1985 to 1995.
Also
Linking Words
, the percentage of
Japanese
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 visitors in Australia has been increasing since 1985.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
Japanese
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tourists
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 in Australia probably decreased after 1995. The
number
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 of
Japanese
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tourists
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traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 abroad in 1985 was 5 million, and it gradually increased until it reached approximately 11 million in 1990. Even though
this
Linking Words
number
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 dropped slightly in 1991, it rose
up
Change preposition
apply
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again in 1992. It continued going up until it reached
the
Correct article usage
a
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 peak at around 15 million in 1995. In 1985, the percentage of
Japanese
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visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
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 in Australia started at 2 per
cent
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;
then
Linking Words
, it rose up until reaching approximately 5 per
cent
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 in 1989. Even though it decreased a little to around 4.2 per
cent
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 in 1990, it rose up to the highest point at approximately 6.2 per
cent
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. After that, it dropped to 6 per
cent
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 in 1995.
Submitted by dondollaraus on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, japanese, tourists, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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