In the past, people used to go to museums to learn facts about culture and history. Nowadays people can find all this freely on the Internet so the museums are no longer important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #museums #facts #culture #history #internet

In the technological

advencement

Correct your spelling

advancement

advancements

age,

people

can explore everything on the internet, including the cultural and historical

knowledges

Change the wording

knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

. Some

people

say it is not

nesccesery

Correct your spelling

necessary

anymore to go to

Correct article usage

a museam

show examples

museam

Correct your spelling

museums

museum

to learn about these issues.

However

, I personally disagree with

this

statement and I going to tell the reason why.

To begin

with,

people

can only acquire the facts from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

online sources but not include real

experiences

On the other hand

, the

museam

Correct your spelling

museum

can be designed to give you

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

real

experiences

with all

sensories

Replace the word

senses

show examples

, all the

experiences

you get are touchable, hearable and

some

Change preposition

in some

show examples

case

Fix the agreement mistake

cases

show examples

, you can even smell

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

For example

, you can imagine that you go to the

museam

Correct your spelling

museum

of history and listen to the

sound

Fix the agreement mistake

sounds

show examples

like you are in the middle of the

battle field

Correct your spelling

battlefield

show examples

, you can smell the blood,

try

Correct word choice

and try

show examples

to touch a real

used-weapon

Correct your spelling

used weapon

show examples

, it will be

Correct article usage

an unforgetable

show examples

unforgetable

Correct your spelling

unforgettable

experiences

Fix the agreement mistake

experience

show examples

that the internet cannot give you.

Furthermore

, sometimes the

museam

Correct your spelling

museum

is not only just

place

Correct article usage

a place

show examples

, but it is the

place

that

Correct word choice

where

show examples

people

can spend valuable time together. The

museam

Correct your spelling

museum

is always a suitable

place

to build

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

between

people

For instance

, the parents can bring

your

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

childern

Correct your spelling

children

to learn

the

Change preposition

about the

show examples

culture,

the

Correct word choice

and the

show examples

background of

ancients

Correct article usage

the ancients

show examples

on the weekend and spend time together, even the couple can go to

this

kind of

place

for the first date where they can

know

Verb problem

learn

show examples

each

Change preposition

about each

show examples

other interests there.

To sum up

, the

museams

Correct your spelling

museums

are playing

Wrong verb form

play

show examples

sinigficant

Correct your spelling

significant

part

Change preposition

show examples

the real

experince

Correct your spelling

experience

Correct word choice

and learnings

show examples

learnings

Fix the agreement mistake

learning

show examples

and the

place

where

people

spend time together,

Hence

, I disagree that the

museams

Correct your spelling

museums

are no longer

necessory

Correct your spelling

necessary

this

digital world. By the way, I would like to recommend that the

museam

Correct your spelling

museum

owners should always improve their

place

to serve the new

varoius

Correct your spelling

various

way of learning and

experiencing

Change the form of the verb

experience

show examples

to make the experience more interesting and exciting, and for sure, the government should play an important role for supporting the development of

museam

Correct your spelling

museum

by funds or public policies to motivate the

museam

Correct your spelling

museum

to always improve themselves.

Submitted by tah.siwakorn on Sun Oct 08 2023

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4Word repetition
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4 paragraphs

332 words

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Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

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Clear and correct grammar

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Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the past, people used to go to museums to learn facts about culture and history. Nowadays people can find all this freely on the Internet so the museums are no longer important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is too much noise in many public places in cities. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done to solve the problem?

Homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and measures could be taken to solve it?

the most important aim of the science should be to improve peoples lives.to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or negative development?