The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live,think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Throughout the centuries, the generations have evolved in many ways. We saw that people changed their approach to living, thinking and behaviour.
However
, some people think that traditional ideas are the best means to live, and that actually, our generation is too modern and liberal. Nevertheless
, some of them think that still, being stuck in these kinds of thoughts does not prepare youngsters for modern life.
Firstly
, I think that it is true, in some ways, that traditional manners are better than our actual situation. The new society is totally liberal in some aspects, like the dress codes, the speaking code and so forth. Some believe that the new type of living, that we have to respect, is the same and that allows everyone to do what they want. But they do not understand that there are some rules which we have to follow for the traditional ideas.
Secondly
, I think that conventional thoughts are too heavy for our development mind. Today, the new generations are able to do things that 100 years ago, they did not were able to do. In addition
, the old type of mind was very unequal. For example
, between women and men, there was such
a different permission, or even between rich and poor, we saw a strong inequality of quality of life.
To summarise, allowing these kinds of conservative thoughts to dictate our lives is a good thing in the same way that is
a negative thing. It is true that maybe our generation has a too radical mind, but we cannot stay and be stuck in those ideas because we would not ever progress as a generation.Submitted by santos_dij on
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Task Achievement
Try to maintain a clear and consistent argument throughout your essay. It seemed like you were oscillating between supporting traditional ideas and highlighting their drawbacks. Clarifying your stance will strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Your essay could benefit from more specific examples to support your arguments. General statements are a good starting point, but adding real-life examples or hypothetical scenarios can make your points more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a good structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph deals with a single main idea and that this idea is clearly stated in the topic sentence.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to show the connections between your ideas more clearly. This will enhance the flow of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.
Task Achievement
You've done well to cover both sides of the argument, acknowledging the value in traditional ideas while also recognizing the need for modernization.
Coherence & Cohesion
The use of a concluding paragraph to summarize your thoughts and reiterate your main argument shows an understanding of essay structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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