IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

**Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?**

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It is argued that living in a house is more advantageous than living in an apartment.
While
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 there are certain drawbacks of dwelling in a house,
such
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 as the difficulty of keeping it clean and far distance from a city centre, I believe that the advantages, which are spacious area and tranquillity, outweigh them. On the one hand,
houses
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 demand lots of effort in cleaning them since they have bigger living areas.
In other words
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, individuals have to cover more space than usual. Most people find it draining, and,
accordingly
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, they end up using special services for it, which may be costly.
For instance
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, national statistics of France reported that over than 78 percent of their citizens who are living in
houses
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 prefer to utilize appropriate services for it.
Furthermore
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, it is common that
houses
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 are located a huge distance away from the city centre, where almost all services are held.
As a result
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, these people may struggle with commuting to their work or university.
However
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, I think that these issues are not sufficient to offset the advantages of
this
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 trend.
On the other hand
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,
houses
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 offer more comfort, as they provide more area.
Such
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 extended space supplies mental health and improves individuals'
overall
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 well-being.
This
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 is essential for large families who struggle to live in a small apartment.
Furthermore
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, noise from neighbours is often absent in
houses
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, as the distance between them is considerable.
As a result
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, people get less disturbed by the external sound and have peace. Since a home is a place where its dwellers should relax and experience relief,
such
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 gain is notably crucial. In conclusion, living in a house may have certain downsides related to its location and the ways to clean it, but a substantial space and peace from the external noise can easily outweigh the downsides.

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score in task response, consider providing more specific examples. Although the essay covers various aspects, more detailed examples would strengthen your argument and support your points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While your essay is generally well-structured, ensuring seamless transitions will make your argument even more compelling.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, presenting your position effectively. This structure helps keep the reader engaged and informed about your argument throughout.
task achievement
Your points about the spaciousness and tranquility of living in a house are well-articulated and aligned with the topic statement.
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